South Beach Clubs Closing for Urban Beach Week

South Beach is 'bout to be mobbed.

It's almost Memorial Day weekend in the 305 (otherwise known as Urban Beach Week), the annual four-day span during which the beach (as well as mainland Miami) gets swarmed by famous rappers, celebrity strippers, and 250,000 party people from all over the Dirty South.

Now, some Dade County residents choose to flee for the holiday. And this year, certain SoBe clubs are even choosing to close till the Urban throng leaves town.

See also: Miami's Memorial Day Weekend 2014: Ten Best Parties

For those unfamiliar with Urban Beach Week ...

There will be unruly crowds. The streets will be filled with donks and whips. Nearly naked ladies will be riding rented bicycles. And grown men will be spotted wearing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pants, but no shirts.

To try and control the masses, Miami Beach police will be closing roads, manning DUI checkpoints, and erecting watch towers on busy city streets like Ocean Drive.

All weekend, from 7 a.m. on Friday till 7 a.m. on Tuesday, MDPD will be closing Ocean Drive to traffic while street parking will be prohibited along Collins Avenue between Fifth and 15th streets.

The cops will also be searching for drunk drivers. They will be running license plates for outstanding warrants. And they will be on the lookout for stolen cars.

Meanwhile, the MacArthur and Julia Tuttle causeways will be nearly impassable. And only locals will be allowed to cross the Venetian.

In short, South Beach will be a clusterfuck. Unless you're traveling by foot or astride a small two-wheeled vehicle.

Still, it's surprising that several SoBe clubs have decided to lock their doors for the full duration of Urban Beach Week.

Rather than deal with the massive traffic snafus, 600 edgy cops, and a quarter million wild revelers (which can all apparently though somewhat counterintuitively cause decreased business), local megaclub conglomerate Opium Group will be closing two of its nightlife spots, Set and Mokai, while focusing on the few rap parties scheduled for marquee locations, Mansion and Cameo.

Even Bamboo Miami Beach, which just reopened after a hiatus for renovations, might be taking the holiday off. (UPDATE Marketing manager Adrian Blaga tells Crossfade that the club will be open for a Sunday party with comedian Kevin Hart.)

Guess it's time to add shut-down clubs to the potential perils of the Memorial Day mobs.

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S. Pajot