Listen up, fellas ... Pick-up lines rarely work. Most of the time, they are lame, cliché, and straight-up ridiculous.
That also means it takes a lot of courage (or several brewskies) to go up to an attractive lady at a bar and ask her if "it hurt when ya fell from heaven." And no, just because she may laugh, it doesn't mean you won her over. She is laughing at you.
To spare you the ridicule, here's a little piece of advice: If you find a woman by the bar, sippin' on a Sam Adams, a simple, "Hey, how are you?" will work a lot better than asking her if she's tired ... 'Cause she's been running through your mind all night.
Here are six of the worst Miami pick-up lines guys, all of which should never ever be used again.
"Wanna Go to Scarlett's?"
Delmarys just finished doing a shot with her friends by the bar at Blackbird Ordinary.
"This actually happened to me last night. I was out with some friends and a guy came up to me and asked, 'Who are you here with?' I told him I was here with friends and asked him the same question.
"We were outside and he told me, 'That's my Maserati right there, but I hired a driver because I'm drinking tonight. Wanna go to Scarlett's?'" Delmarys laughed as she retold the story.
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Laughed and told him to have fun at Scarlett's."
Lingering Shoulder Kiss
Eliza Duquette was enjoying the last sips of her cocktail on the outside terrace with a friend.
"Actually, tonight a guy came out of nowhere and told me, 'I love you,'" Duquette laughed as she brushed her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear.
"And then he gave me a lingering five-second kiss on my shoulders, told my friends, 'I love all of you,' and then walked away."
"Were You Made in Heaven?"
"How about the one when they ask you if they can see your shirt?" said Jackie Vargas, who's been out of the dating game for seven years, but recalls her days of pick-up lines.
"How does that one go?" I asked.
"Can I see your shirt? I wanna see what size you are and if you were made in heaven," Vargas said.
"Yeah, right. Nowadays it's not even a line," interrupted her friend, Lisette Boriego. "They just get up behind you and rub on you."
"I Could Be Preppy Like Pitbull"
"Once a guy asked me what kind of guys I like," said Teresita Perez, who was all smiles celebrating her birthday.
"I told him, 'I like preppy guys,' and this guy was wearing a backwards hat and baggy pants."
"He told me, 'I have Lacostie shirts," Perez said.
"Lacostie, like Lacoste?" I asked.
"Yes!" she laughed. "I told him, 'That's not exactly what I meant.' So then he said, 'I can be preppy like Pitbull.' I said, 'No, thank you.'"
"It didn't work on me. But hey, this was three years ago and I still remember."
"Do You Have a Mirror in Your Pants?"
Stephanie Farah and her friends were dancing by the crowded bar.
"Hmm, I don't know... 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?' of course," said Farah's friend who was wearing a coral top that hugged all of her curves.
"The worst is," Farah cut in. "'Do you have a mirror in your pants? Because I see myself in them.'"
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Awkward Small Talk
Sitting by a table near the entrance of Blackbird was Angela Oneto and a friend.
"Someone asked us right now if this place was really good... He was dancing," Oneto said. "And then he was like, 'I'm not trying to hit on you or anything, I just wanna know if it sucks.'"