Six Club Drugs to Get You Through the Mayan Apocalypse

Page 3 of 3

4. Ketamine

When the credits are about to start rolling (sorry) at the end of the movie called Everything, why not snort some microwaved animal tranquilizer? It is Crossfade's official opinion that the closer we get to the shock-and-awe of total Mayannihilation, the more narcotics you should be cramming into every last orifice on your body. Because if you're not going to dose yourself with a Special K butt-plug now, you're never going to get the chance.

3. GHB

OK, so ketamine will render you a drooling moron as the fabric of reality is torn before your tremendous moon-pie pupils. Not bad. But the intensely sedating effects of gamma-hydroxybutyrate puts users in a state commonly described as "coma-like." And when planning one's itinerary for Ragnarök, a total lack of consciousness seems like a decent way to ride out the storm.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Matt Preira