It's a totally new year. And no, it doesn't have to be just like all the rest.
What we have here is the chance to make some real positive and lasting changes in our lives. We can be better than we've ever been before, and it all starts today.
To help inspire you to be all that you can be in 2013, we here at Crossfade have come up with a list of suggested resolutions that we'd like to see adopted by partiers across the city. Just a few dos and don'ts to keep in mind as we dive head first into a year the Mayans never thought we'd have. Let's make it count.
Get Over Yourselves and Fucking Dance
Seriously, Miami, you've got to learn to loosen up. We have some of the greatest artists and musicians come through here and play their hearts out. But what do most of you do? Stand around chatting like the dance floor is a damn beer garden. Let your freak flag fly. No one will judge you for dancing, and if they do, they're an asshole anyway. Make this the year of no inhibitions. It feels good.
Quit Taking Show Videos in Portrait Mode
Yes, everyone is stoked you caught that drop. It was a great moment. But you're ruining it with your uncomfortable orientation. And we can't help feeling we're missing out on something really incredible to either side. It's obvious shows should be recorded in landscape, and in 2013, there's no excuse.
Ladies and gentleman, please stop hounding the photographer at the club to take your picture. Party photos shouldn't be demanded, they should be earned. You should be too busy dancing and having fun to make a posed, lifeless smilie face. Besides, it's more interesting to capture you getting down and letting loose than standing around looking pretty.
Stop Kicking Legendary DJs Off the Decks
Last year was really bad. Mansion Nightclub made headlines and raised eyebrows across the country when they gave Dennis Ferrer and DJ Shadow the axe mid-set. These guys are world-renowned for their originality and prowess, but they were punished for performances club owners claimed weren't "commercial enough." The bottom line is, if you want commercial sets, book commercial DJs. If you want artistic sets, book artists. But don't punish the artist because your booking team doesn't know what it's doing.
Learn to appreciate the music
Of course, those fiascos could have been avoided if the bottle-service crowd bothered to learn a thing or two about the artform they spend so much money supporting. As a scene, we've got to encourage one another to dig deeper. Don't just go to a show because the headliner is a "big name." At least take the time to listen to their productions and mixes before heading out to the club. Let's make 2013 the year substance overcame status.
Retire the Spirit Hoodies
These animal-themed, soft-lined bits of head gear were cute for a minute, but now that you've worn them rave-in and rave-out in the Florida heat, they're getting pretty gross. The fur has gotten patchy, the look is stale, and it never totally recovered from that time your gum melted in your paw pocket. If you're more than 20 years old, you need to let this look go in 2013. It's time.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Engaging with our readers is essential to Miami New Times's mission. Make a financial contribution or sign up for a newsletter, and help us keep telling Miami's stories with no paywalls.
Support Our Journalism
Give Molly a Weekend Off
If your first thought after buying tickets to a show is "I need to buy drugs," you're doing it wrong. Yeah, that other white girl is a lot of fun at parties, and it would be silly to imagine a dance-music world without love drugs, but all things in moderation. If you find yourself constantly geeked up at every show, we've got news for you. You're not an EDM fan, you're just really into MDMA. Why don't you give your chemicals a break once in a while and see if you still dig the beat.