Can you smell it? That hot, sugary corn-flavor smell? Well, that's what we'd imagine the MTV Video Music Awards smell like.
There's almost nothing as poppy, shiny or over-the-top commercialized at the VMAs, and its coming back Sunday, Aug. 25, to rear its star-studded head like the hydra of the Billboard charts. With scheduled performances by Drake, Justin Timberlake, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, Miley Cyrus, Robin Thicke and Kanye West, you can be sure there will be as much absurd glitz and glamour as there are corporate sponsors.
But let's be real; the best part of the VMAs is when things just go to shit. We don't watch it to see Beyonce pull of a perfect dance routine, we watch it to see who will be crowned King Asshole for the next year. So let's gear up for Sunday and relive the five best VMA crash moments of all time, shall we?
Kanye West vs. Justice: 2006
YES! The glorious start of a most glorious tradition. Kanye West lost best video during the Euro VMAs to Justice for their totally freaking awesome low-budget "We Are Your Friends" remix clip. But, of course, West was pissed because he felt the more expensive video, his own "Touch the Sky," deserved to be treated better. Mid acceptance speech, he took center stage and let his two cents rain on the crowd. "This video cost a million dollars, fam. I had Pamela Anderson. I go jumpin' across canyons and shit. Aw hell no." He went even further by claiming, "If I don't win, the award show loses credibility." Oh Kanye, never change.
Lil Mama vs. Jay Z and Alicia Keys: 2009
Remember Lil Mama? Y'know, her lip gloss was poppin'? The fresh-faced one-hit wonder took her swag too seriously and decided it was time for her to join the big leagues. Unfortunately for her (and most fortunately for us) she picked the worst time possible to make an impression on hip-hop's greatest business, man. Jay Z and Alicia Keys closed the event with their smash "Empire State of Mind," and just as they were having their most glorious moment, Lil Mama bumrushed the stage and starts mean-mugging the Throne. Jay gave that dummie the coldest shoulder of all time while she sat there trying to steal their limelight. Guess we know why she disappeared so fast.
Courtney Love vs. Madonna: 1995
Hey, not everything great happens on the VMA stage. Sometimes the best crashes occur on the red carpet. Like this historic gem from the era when Madonna was, for some reason, partly British. Just as the interview with Madonna and Kurt Loder got started, Courtney started throwing make-up accessories in the middle of their moment. "Should we let her come up? No, don't, please," Madonna unenthusiastically begged. The rest of the six-minute shit-show is pure magic as Madonna and Love go head to head on fashion and who can be the biggest bullshitter. We can't tell who won, the score is too close.
Rage Against the Machine vs. The Machine: 2000
Rage Against the Machine aren't one of those rock'n'roll bands that doesn't mean their anti-establishment attitude. Those dudes seriously hate bullshit. So of course, when total whores Limp Bizkit won an award, Rage bassist Tim Commerford decided it was time to stage a protest. He climbed atop the stage decorations and damn-near incited a riot, holding up the stage for about a monite. "And we've got a madman. That's pretty phat," Bizkit singer Fred Durst said like a true '90s nu-metal reject. "Stage-dive, dude." Honestly, Commerford was on fire that whole evening, having earlier totally trashed the stage during Rage's performance. Seriously, we miss those guys.
Kanye West vs. Taylor Swift: 2009
Aw, who are we kidding? Kanye West taking on Taylor Swift on behalf of Beyonce was the best VMA stage crash of all time, OF ALL TIME! To this day, the Internet, Swift and your mom are making "Ima let you finish" jokes. Let's hope he does something crazy this year. Interrupting Jay Z and Justin Timberlake as they accept an inevitable award? We can only hope!