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Miami's Favorite Musicians Share Their Failed New Year's Resolutions

Welcome to 2011! Depending on how you look at it, you might be excited because it's a new slate to improve your life and be a better person, or it could fill you with anxiety and woe.

Personally, I like my cup full, then empty, then full again. Which brings us to something else that accompanies every new year: resolutions. Who hasn't woken up beside the porcelain god on New Year's day, bleary eyed, queasy, maybe missing a tooth, a live tiger in the bathroom and wondering when the room's going to stop spinning, then said, "I swear, I'm never doing that again!"

Maybe you've decided to quit smoking. Perhaps you've sworn off fatty foods. Or promised yourself to not only finally get acquainted with the treadmill serving as an open-air closet in the corner of your living room, but to get on a first name basis with it once and for all. And as surely as you've found yourself making one of these resolutions, you've very likely found yourself sooner or later failing at them.

Well, don't feel bad. You're not alone. It happens to everyone. And to prove it, we've polled a few of Miami's favorite local musicians--the very people you drink, smoke and eat like crap while watching onstage. And guess what? They too have failed miserably. Check out some of their failed resolutions.

Mark Kondrat (Locos Por Juana, Afro Kumbe) -- "Every year it seems a couple resolutions fail miserably. How about promising to eat healthier, or finishing my taxes before April....never happens! Sometimes its hard to keep to those BIG resolutions like 'this year I will stop drinking,' or 'this year I will do more exercise.' The best way to succeed at your resolutions is to focus more directly on the problem. For instance: "this year, no more Patron Shots after each LPJ Set. Or this year, I will do yoga."

Jota Dazza (Radioboxer) -- "Be on the cover of Miami New Times sporting a fantastic, rock hard six pack."

Itagui Correa (Locos Por Juana, Afro Kumbe) -- "My New Year's resolution that I failed was to go to Gym. I try so hard to workout but noting happens. Hopefully this year I'm on it!"

Amin De Jesus (Suenalo) -- "I actually partied pretty hard on Thursday the 30th and spent most of the day the 31st regretting it, and swearing up and down I'd never drink again. Of course, we know how that worked out. I was partaking of a cool refreshing drink by 12:02am."

Tony "Smurfio" Laurencio (Suenalo, Afrobeta) -- "The one New Year's resolution that I've made and failed miserably at is...EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! I've never held up on a New Year's resolution for more than a week. I'm about halfway to breaking my resolution this year and it's only the 7th."

Cleaveland Jones -- "Failed resolution number one: be one of Miami's 'favorite local musicians" (haha). Failed resolution # 2: go on tour (no comment). Failed resolution # 3:
finish my new CD (coming in Feb.)."

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