#KeepPitbull305 Fails to Save Mr. Worldwide From #ExilePitbull Trolls and Kodiak, Alaska

See also "Internet Trolls Try to Exile Pitbull to a Walmart on 'the Frozen Alaskan Island of Kodiak.'"

Thirteen days ago, the trolls at SomethingAwful.com attempted to hijack an online Walmart and Energy Sheets® promo campaign "offer[ing] customers the chance to win a visit by Mr. Worldwide."

Their evil plan: Launch a viral social media campaign to #ExilePitbull to Walmart Store #2711 in the icy hinterlands of Kodiak, Alaska.

Of course, Pitbull shot back with some good-humored smartassery via Twitter, shouting, "Daleeeeeee!" But a counter-movement soon emerged. And its mission: Help #KeepPitbull305. 'Cause Dat Lil Chico belongs in his natural subtropical habitat.

The store selected by the #KeepPitbull305 campaign is (duh) Hialeah's Walmart #2814. And Pit has seemed genuinely stoked about the hometown support, not to mention the prospect of peddling "paper-thin, individually wrapped pocket-sized strips" in the City of Progress.

Emboldened by the Dade County masses and all other #KeepPitbull305 supporters, everyone's favorite Miami party boy even started taunting his SomethingAwful.com tormenters, asking the site's David Thorpe (@Arr) to accompany him to Alaska. You know, "like Lindsay Lohan."

Initially, the trolls expressed some trepidation at this unexpected groundswell of proud 305-ers proclaiming their undying allegiance to Armando Christian Pérez.

And Mr. 305 himself professed faith in his homies, shouting out the indomitable resolve of our city's Cubanos, Dominicanos, Nicaragüenses, and other Latinos.

But unfortunately, it looks as though the #KeepPitbull305 campaign won't be able to save Mr. Worldwide. With only two remaining days to vote, Kodiak's Walmart #2711 is cruising toward 72,000 Likes on Facebook while Hialeah's #2814 lingers at 1,013.

Oye! We failed, Miami! Daleeeeeee!

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