Among the most politically polarizing figures in modern times, Venezuelan "president" Hugo Chávez has had the rare distinction of sharing the worldwide stage with other high-energy luminaries like Muammar Gaddafi (d. 2011), Kim Jong-il (d. 2011), Evo Morales, Fidel and Raul Castro, Daniel Ortega, and Rafael Correa.
But with "less than a year to live" according to Wikileaks, has Chávez lived up to his "Bolivarian Revolution" of Venezuela? Given that the throngs of politicians he replaced were technically no better than himself, we fear that Crossfade does not have the arepas or joropos to tackle the subject.
However, we do have some cancer-sensitive suggestions for his iPod as he rests up and receives treatment his tumor(s) in Cuba. Feel free to add your own suggestions to the comments box below.
Lisa Marie Presley's "Idiot"
King Juan Carlos I of Spain might've told him to "shut up" back at the Ibero-American Summit of Chile in 2007. But it is the daughter of another king whose song we have chosen for Chávez.
Scars of Life's "Bullet With Your Name"
If you ever party in South Florida's Doral or Weston regions, you won't find many Venezuelan ex-pats who'll disagree with this choice. This band guys hail from Pompano. Maybe somebody can send them some hallacas?
Nirvana's "Stay Away"
While we can't speak for many of our Venezuelan friends in Venezuela right now, we've been led to believe that maybe Mr. Chávez should just stay in Cuba after his surgery and live out his remaining days fishing or proselytizing or whatever it is despots do when faced with their own mortality.
Desorden Público's "Política Criminal"
We can't have any fun without including some Venezuelan voices in the mix. And one group that's been soldiering on since the '80s while all the politicians have come and gone under the yellow, blue, and red ... Desorden Público. Their Latin ska/reggae/rock is infectious and their political commentary is sharp.
G.G. Allin's "I'm Gonna Rape You"
Somehow we feel that American gutter poet G.G. Allin is the right voice to use when one dares not convey his own true feelings. 'Nuff said.
Porno Para Ricardo's "Como Joder a un Comunista"
Many of our Cuban neighbors in South Florida have been wearily watching the Chávez phenomenon for many years now. And one can leave it to the Island's current kings of dissidence to set it to music for not just the ailing Pres, but all his cronies out there.
Keep Miami New Times Free... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Miami with no paywalls.