Holy Ship!! Survival Guide: From Condoms to Shades

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3. End Your Diet

Yes, we've all been watching our carb intake, stretching our bodies, and running stadiums at dawn every day since booking a Holy Ship!! cabin months and months ago. Clearly, we're in the best shape of our lives and we are ready to party. But there's no need to bring the calorie counter to a cruise. The food is free! Eat it all! Enjoy the never-ending sundae bar! You'll never stop feeling cracked-out if you don't indulge. We're sure to dance it all off anyway.

4. Pack Condoms... Then More Condoms

We're in tip-top shape. You know what that means? Holy Ship sex party! We're all adults. In fact, everyone's gotta be 21 or older just to be on board. So it's highly likely, with all these love drugs and alcohol and EDM superstars playing everywhere, someone is gonna get laid. But ladies, don't rely on the fellas. And fellas, shut the fuck up, and put that protection on already. Also, Bring extras for your stupid bros who think with their blood-engorged members. Friends don't let friends have unprotected sex!

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Kat Bein is a freelance writer and has been described as this publication’s "senior millennial correspondent." She has an impressive, if unhealthy, knowledge of all things pop culture.