Hannah Montana Goes Dubstep! An Extremely Detailed Breakdown

See also "Ten Signs of the Dubpocalypse! From Bieber and Muse to Dubstep Cereal Commercials."

It's over.

Miley Cyrus is a woman now. And as we speak, she's probably taking face-fulls of Borgore's cake.

The hedonistic, nasty-as-he-wanna-be brostepper released a confection-themed song about bangin' bitches and they friends back in March. It's called "Decisions (Bitches Love Cake)," and it's full of nasty drops and skeezy innuendo.

But now it's a bigger deal on the internets because lil' funny-hair, penis-cake-gobblin' Miley tweeted that she secretly provided the female vocal track.

Just listen and try not to freak out.

0:00 - 1:07

It starts with some standard brostep intro and standard Borgore lyrics about how he gets whatever he wants from the ladies because he's famous. "Bitches love cake," he informs us. He's not sharing his bitches either, apparently. Then BOOM, there's the drop. It's kind of hard, we guess. As hard as Disney-assisted brostep can be. This banger is Mickey Mouse approved.

1:08 - 1:36

And here we can actually hear the moment dubstep died. If you listen to dubstep and think you're making some social statement about our youth's unvoiced aggression and defiance to conform, all that's over. Dubstep is now about drug-themed apparel and serving up cream-pies to young girls with alt haircuts.

1:36 - 2:03

Okay so, let's be real. Listen to these lyrics. "Headache for my management / gossip column resident / Your mom and dad might hate me but in five years I'm the president." Add to that the fact that we've already concluded all duets are backed by actual doing it, and we can conclude that Miley is all up in that bass.

2:04 - 3:21

Resale Concert Tickets

Powered By
powered by Seats For Everyone SEE MORE

  • Tuesday, Nov. 12, 2019 / 8:00pm @ Palm Beach Improv 550 S Rosemary Ave. Suite 250 West Palm Beach FL 33401
    550 S Rosemary Ave. Suite 250, West Palm Beach FL 33401

  • Wednesday, Nov. 13, 2019 / 7:00pm @ Revolution Live 200 West Broward Blvd Fort Lauderdale FL 33312
    200 West Broward Blvd, Fort Lauderdale FL 33312

  • Wednesday, Nov. 13, 2019 / 7:00pm @ King Center For The Performing Arts 3865 N Wickham Road Melbourne FL 32935
    3865 N Wickham Road, Melbourne FL 32935

Another drop, more dueting. In an interview with Rolling Stone, the producer explains that her involvement was a secret just to see if die-hard dub fans would enjoy the song on its own. "If someone used to like the tune before ... and now he doesn't like it just because she's on it, he's lying to himself," he said. "I think being a nonconformist is being the biggest conformist." Damn, put that on a Hot Topic kandi bracelet and sell it.

He goes on to quip that, "All I see is a super hot girl that has an amazing voice and is super fun to work with." So, there it is. What do you think?

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >