There was a time, often called "childhood," when catching your unmarried moms making out with a fat, bearded guy in a red suit would've been a wonderful development of the most Christmassy proportions. Who'd have thought that Santa could be your stepdad? No one. And yet, here was the chubby bastard crashed out on your couch with cookie crumbs in his beard and a lit cigarette dangling from his open, snoring mouth.
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