Any sophisticated hipster worth his or her vintage Gibson Les Paul SG and Wusthof Super Slicer will be equally dedicated to the twin pleasures of tuneage and food. Each and every day, he or she will spend an absolutely identical amount of time practicing Count Five's "Psychotic Reaction" as perfecting his or her knife skills in a fully outfitted semi-professional home kitchen.
Needless to say, though, these kinds of hipsteriffic hobbies can get pretty expensive. So if you're broke and you need a cheaper alternative to the simultaneous, part-time pursuit of killer music and gourmet munchies, may we suggest Peter, Bjorn, and John's tunefully delicious All You Can Eat Tour?
5. "Young Folks" and Seared Foie Gras, Encrusted With Pop Rocks
For the most addictive slice of sugary indie-pop of the 2000s, Peter, Bjorn, and John's "Young Folks," there's only one dish that'll do: a fat chunk of foie gras, seared to perfection and given a crunchy coating of Pop Rocks, the cherry-flavored crystal meth of the candy world.
Since we're talking about a band that's named for everyone's favorite sandwich (i.e. the classic PB&J) and just put out an album called Gimme Some, it's only natural that this Swedish trio -- guitar guy Peter Morén, bass player Björn Yttling, and drummer John Eriksson -- has decided to tour the Unites States, joining forces with foodie website Eater.com to spread the joy of sweet tunes and free eats among America's cool kid population.
4. "Nothing To Worry About" and Hot Sake
Have you seen the music vid for this darkly swaggering PB&J track off 2009's Living Thing? Well, it's all about Japanese greasers, which makes it the perfect soundtrack for pounding hot sake all night long.
The deal: In seven U.S. cities (NYC, Washington D.C., Houston, San Fran, L.A., and, yes, Miami), PB&J and Eater.com will coordinate with a local food truck to hook up quality grub for the unbelievably low price of nothing!
And as a guide for famished fans, the toothsome threesome has even drawn up a map of America that substitutes certain states and even entire regions with cartoony drawings of the nation's favorite foods.
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In this cute (albeit geographically inexact) depiction, New England becomes a glisteningly plump turkey leg; Michigan morphs into a strangely triangular fried egg paired with a single strip of bacon; Texas transforms into a massive hunk of red meat; Southern California takes the shape of a banana split ice cream sundae; and Florida is, of course, the butt end of a bloody meat cleaver.
3. "Second Chance" and Silver-Dusted Popcorn
There's nothing more excessive and self-indulgent than sprinkling or shaving precious metals over your snacks. But "Second Chance" is so bright and shiny that only silver-dusted popcorn will cut it.
Of course, it's been three months now since Peter, Bjorn, and John announced that the All You Can Eat tour would be bringing its big steaming buffet to Miami. So understandably, after that much waiting, SoFla's sophisticated hipsters are very, very, very hungry. And they're dying to dance too.
2. "Dig a Little Deeper" and Booze-Infused Watermelon
Surfing atop bouncy, vaguely Caribbean rhythms, "Dig a Little Deeper" is both intoxicating and refreshing. The ideal edible companion: A miniature watermelon that's been pumped full of homemade rum with a heavy-duty surgical syringe.
But before getting all excited about pigging out with your hotdog out and shimming across the dance floor like you're having a diabetic seizure, let's just note that PB&J's tuneage-and-food party at Bardot is officially sold out.
Sure, according to the club, there will be tickets available at the door. But we can guarantee that passes will be exceedingly rare, like, say, an original acetate version of The Velvet Underground and Nico or a eight-pound white truffle.
5. "(Don't Let Them) Cool Off" and Poached Quail Eggs
Like chicken embryos, quail eggs are disgusting if you don't eat them as soon as they come out of the kitchen. So heed PB&J's sage advice and "(Don't Let Them) Cool Off."
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So you should probably consider doing a little something nice to get into the doorman's good graces. Don't just walk up and say, "Gimme some tix, dude." You know, try making him a mixtape or baking him a soufflé. After all, even doormen love music and munchies -- just like Peter, Bjorn, John, and you.
Follow @eatermiami on Twitter for news about the time and location of Peter, Bjorn, and John's free grub giveaway.
Peter, Bjorn, and John. Friday, September 23, at Bardot Miami, 3456 N. Miami Ave., Miami. The tuneage and food starts at 9 p.m. and tickets cost $20 to $50 at the door. Call 305-576-7750 or bardotmiami.com.