Five Miami Clubs That Don't Suck

Miami is inseparable from her

nightlife and clubs. But she's also a gold-digging, glamor-drunk whore.

Ninety percent of the establishments around town (especially in South

Beach) cater to people with a truly masochistic approach to nightlife,

and it's all because of that inane Miamian need to feel VIP.

They love

the kind of ostentatious, exclusionary club where you have to dress like

a Prada ad, wait two hours in line outside the velvet ropes, fighting

for the guestlist Nazi's attention, only to get inside so you can wait

another hour at the bar to pay for a $20 drink as you listen to

god-awful Top 40 bullshit.

Here are Crossfade's picks for Miami clubs that don't suck.       

1. The Electric Pickle
Since opening its doors two years ago,

this small Wynwood club has become a major mecca for underground EDM

fans both local and international. That has a lot to do with the

consistent quality of bookings -- sometimes several stellar

international DJ bookings a week from the likes of Carl Craig and Greg

Wilson to Wolf + Lamb and Jamie Jones. (Not to mention a whole slew of

lineups during WMC and Miami Music Week.) But it also has everything to do

with the establishment's cool-as-shit attitude toward its patrons,

providing an intimate, come-as-you-are unpretentious vibe where anyone

can feel at home.

2. The Vagabond

With its colorful cast of regulars (performance artists and flamboyant

hipsters alike), the Vagabond is Miami's closest equivalent to what the

downtown NYC scene must have been like in the late '70s and early '80s.

Accordingly, the club also offers nonstop quality bookings, from live acts

like Junior Boys and Glass Candy to star DJs like Louie Vega and Vagabond co-owner John Digweed.

3. Eve

The downtown Miami space formerly known as White Room has been an

active purveyor of electronic music for the last several years. And as

Eve, the place is definitely continuing the trend. The emphasis is on

dubstep, bass, and underground hip-hop, which is fine with us.

Especially considering how few outlets Miami has for these styles of music.

4. Grand Central

With its monolithic warehouse-like space, high-end soundsystem, and seizure-inducing light show, Grand Central is the closest thing to a "megaclub" on this list. But

what makes it akin to Crossfade's other clubs that don't suck is the fact that it caters to downtown Miami patrons' appetite for quality undeground music and an

unpretentious door policy. Besides killer DJ bookings including

Josh Wink and Tiefschwarz, Grand Central is also one of the

few venues of its size to book Latin artists like Bomba Estereo and Los

Amigos Invisibles.

5. Treehouse

This is the latest addition to Miami's shortlist of reedeming nightlife

establishments. Plus, it's our only pick that's located

on South Beach. Treehouse hasn't been open long, but it's already become a major favorite with local EDM fans, thanks to several killer lineups over the last year,

including stellar WMC and Miami Music Week headliners like Goldie,

Danny Howels, and Steve Bug.

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.

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Sean Levisman