Eat Me

Page 3 of 3

As the last of the meat sizzled away, Frank Falestra and Sean Kelly and Sir Robert began loading up so they could get to the famed record store and sometimes show venue Y&T by 4:00 p.m. The chicken guts I'd worked so hard to prepare just so remained largely uneaten. Normally I'd have been happy to have 'em, but thanks to the generosity of the guests, I had enough leftovers of all sorts to last days.

Y&T was not crowded until the barbecue contingent arrived. Regular customers must have been surprised to see the dabs of barbecue sauce on some of us -- it looked like dried blood and we were smiling fiendishly.

Even without their guitarist, the Santas played a stunning set, filled with provocative moments -- Sister Ray's Category 4 violin wails and violent vocals on "Ism," Sir Robert dishing out innovative and rich guitar leads and singing like the heyday of CBGB wasn't over fifteen years ago. Tim Tim Tim tom-tom-tomming away, Jan 9 standing on her head, Chief Dan's bass belching happily. Even Fred the Fed eats it up.

"It's cool to see freaks, hippies, punks, and normal folks enjoying our shows," Sir Robert, whose appearance fits three of those four categories, said after the 'lectrifying performance. "We also like to gig with an odd assortment of unlikely acts. And I'd like to see Sloth with Mary Karlzen, Rooster Head with Chickenhead, Nuclear Valdez with Harry Pussy. Those would be interesting bills. And that'll be long after hell freezes over and the meek cockroaches inherit the Earth."

Roaches! We haul ass back to the house to clean up.
Lionel Goldbart calls with big news a few days later. "I hear Kreamy 'Lectric Santa's playing Washington Square on September 1. Tell your readers that to get in, they have to come see me and the ACME reading series at Stephen Talkhouse earlier that night." Sure Lionel, right, I'm going to waste space in a story about one of my favorite bands to plug your little gig.

From DeFede's barbecue-sauce-stained notes:
Work encroached ever so briefly when Tim Tim Tim the InTimidator walked over to Baker and asked, "So when are we going to do the interview?" Baker screamed, "Fuck the interview. This is the interview. This!"

Kreamy 'Lectric Santa performs tonight, Wednesday, at Washington Square, 645 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 534-1403.

KEEP MIAMI NEW TIMES FREE... Since we started Miami New Times, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Miami, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Greg Baker