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| Columns |

David Guetta Is Pissed, Threatens Site Over Fake Story

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What's dumber? A dance music blog completely fabricates an absurd story about one of the world's most popular DJs, or that said DJ would be personally offended and find that the clearly false story is damaging to his career. More specifically, possibly affecting his ranking in the DJ Mag Top 100?

We know. That's a lot of stupid.

Yet alas, it's true. David Guetta served wunderground.com with a cease and desist, threatening to go Malcolm X on the perps and put the pressure on the site by any means necessary until the offending article was taken down. So, how is this whole thing going down?

"David Guetta Left Red Faced Following Pre-Recorded Set Gaffe" the headline reads. The first three paragraphs are as follows:

At a recent show in Paris the pop star, David Guetta, was forced to flee the stage in embarrassment when at the start of his show he hit the play button on the wrong track.

Instead of hearing Guetta's usual pop-house hits, fans were inadvertently treated to a personal self help CD that had been prescribed to Guetta for treatment of crippling chorophobia - the irrational fear of dancing.

Guetta took to Twitter to release the following statement: "To all my fans, I'm sorry that you had to find out that I have been pre-recording sets and not playing live."

It takes an intelligent observer about ten seconds to realize everything about this story is buffoonery. Still, a bunch of other sites chose to carry the story, piggy-backing on the completely fictional account for lol-views. Some of them, like this totally bizarre thing, didn't seem to get the joke.

So, who's laughing now? Certainly not Guetta, who did take to Twitter to cry about how his life is unfair and he's got haters/liars/cheats who force his hand into the oh-so-petty DJ Mag Top 100 jack-off competition.

He goes on to say how one's career goes further when one focuses on bettering yourself rather than attacking others, but he still turned the attack dogs right back at them.

Now, what does all this mean?

Is Guetta's career really in jeopardy because some kids who think they're The Onion of EDM wrote a completely inane article? Is he going to get paid any less because his legion of snot-nosed pre-teens thinks his sets are pre-recorded? Would he even notice if a couple thousand went missing?

What does the DJ Mag Top 100 have to do with anything? Haven't we all decided that's about as honest and meaningful a competition as middle school prom queen? The only people that take it seriously are the people who have no real opinion on dance music anyway, and the bigger problem there is everyone's inevitable David Gwetta pronunciation disaster.

And even more so, what is a blog doing writing a bunch of fake news anyway? Has our obsession with EDM become so bloated and cheap we'd rather marvel at a pile of bullshit than talk about artistry, musicality, or anything of merit? Perhaps, what this situation really shows, is there is no merit left on the dance floor at all. The honor is gone.

Now, that's stupid.

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