Air Supply at Magic City Casino January 22

When middle-aged lovers in matching pastel jumpsuits pop a little blue pill, light a dozen vanilla-scented candles, and get ready to rock so very softly, there's only one soundtrack sexy enough for that kind of action: the sweet and flaccid strains of Air Supply's Forever Love: Greatest Hits. Packed with 36-tracks of adult-contempo muzak, the collection focuses almost exclusively on the Australian duo's early- to mid-'80s string of gloriously airbrushed smash singles, including "Lost in Love," "All Out of Love," and "Here I Am (Just When I Thought I Was Over You)."

Basically, it's going to be the same deal when Air Supply breezes into Magic City Casino this Saturday. Expect a rose-colored, soft-focus live rerun of the band's increasingly distant glory days: Guitarist Graham Russell's weepy guitar wanking will comingle with singer Russell Hitchcock's crisp castrato, which will wail for approximately one hour before climaxing with an encore of 1983's rock opera ode to whispering, crying, and lying, "Making Love Out of Nothing at All."

Man, we can already hear those lyrics — "And I know just where to touch you/And I know when to let you loose" — not to mention, um, the careful, quiet sounds of the color-coordinated crowd's slow-motion sexing.

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S. Pajot