Achtung, Grandpa!

According to the Emerald Isle’s Central Statistics Office, the average Irish male can expect to prowl around Planet Earth for about 76 years, 9 months, and 18 days. Do you know what that means? It means that U2, as a band, is totally middle aged. (Formed in 1976, the bombastic...

By S. Pajot

June 16, 2011

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According to the Emerald Isle’s Central Statistics Office, the average Irish male can expect to prowl around Planet Earth for about 76 years, 9 months, and 18 days.

Do you know what that means? It means that U2, as a band, is totally middle aged. (Formed in 1976, the bombastic arena rock quartet turned 35 this year.) And as individuals, the situation is even bleaker. Bono’s already 51! Ditto Adam “Bass Boy” Clayton! Drummer Larry Mullen Jr. hits the big five-oh next Halloween! And the Edge isn’t so edgy at 49!

Obviously, though, U2 ain’t dead yet. And if we do a few rough calculations, it wouldn’t be wacko to expect Bono and crew to crap out another couple of semi-conscious decades, six more mediocre albums, and an equal number of never-ending, galaxy-spanning, multimillion-dollar megatours.

So yes, it’s too early for a post-mortem. But why not get started just for fun? Read Crossfade's ten glorious, strange, and shameful moments in the very long career of U2.
Wed., June 29, 7 p.m., 2011

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