Pokémon Go became a worldwide sensation literally overnight earlier this month. The mobile app game that allows players to catch adorable cartoon creatures, train them, level them up, and battle them for fake money and bragging rights has been downloaded more than 10 million times since July 6. It's more than a phenomenon. It’s a Pokénomenon, and Miami is caught in the wildfire like a hapless Bulbasaur before a Charizard.
Because the 20-year-old game is always debuting new Pokémon, New Times figured we’d help the geniuses at Nintendo come up with a few Miami-themed characters.
CP Level: Comes in 20s, 50s, and 100s varieties
Rarity: Very common
Area: Found all over, especially bathrooms in South Beach
Attacks: Hey Man Hustle, Rapid Speech Overload, and Pay Day (slowly drains the victim of money over the course of each round)
CP Level: Unknown
Rarity: Not as rare as it would have you believe
Area: Wynwood, downtown, creeping into Little Haiti
Attacks: Vicious Side Eye, Deep V Cut, Over Explainer (puts victim to sleep for three rounds)
CP Level: Everything 1.99
Area: Most mainland areas, with a high concentration in Hialeah neighborhoods; also can be found at the Swap Shop
Attacks: Bitch Brow, Chancleta Chop, and Spanglish Slap (immediately renders the victim baffled and prone to attack)