Police Taser Woman Who Was Just Trying to Sleep Pantsless in a Grease Dumpster

A lot of strange things happen in Florida every week, and on Friday we're here to round up the weirdest. This week: a woman who thought she found a cozy nap spot in a grease dumpster, a woman who tried to use 911 like it was Seamless, a naked car burglar caught on camera, and a man who never got his tank. 

Florida Woman Tasered in Grease Dumpster
In case you're wondering, yes, a grease dumpster is exactly what it sounds like. It's a dumpster where a restaurant disposes of used grease and cooking oil. 

The incident happened on Fort Myers Beach at the Lani Kai, an infamous Polynesian-themed resort and nightlife hotspot. Lee County Sheriff's deputies came across Anna Marzita Shinkle at 2 a.m. last Friday. She was sound asleep, curled up inside the Lani Kai's grease dumpster. Her shirt was on, but her pants were around her ankles. Naturally, she was also covered in grease. A deputy tried to wake her, but Shinkle was apparently having the sleep of her life inside the grease dumpster. She told the deputies to "go fuck yourself" and threatened to cut them and "fuck us up." 

The fire department showed up and tried to remove Shinkle from the dumpster, but they soon learned it's difficult to get ahold of a woman covered in grease. She held onto the dumpster and wouldn't budge. Deputies warned Shinkle she'd be tasered if she didn't calm down, but she remained aggressive and received the shock. 

Shinkle was later charged with drunken and disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. 

Woman Calls 911 to Request Cigarettes and Chicken Wings 
You know what always sounds good to a drunk person? Cigarettes and chicken wings. You know what kind of logic drunk people have? Not the sharp kind. 

Liann Watson of Clermont was a bit tipsy last Wednesday and got a hankering for fried chicken parts and nicotine. So she called 911 and asked if someone could deliver the products. She said it was an emergency because if she didn't get her wings and smokes, she'd pass out. 

A deputy showed up at her home, but not with cigs and wings. Instead, he brought handcuffs. A friend of Watson's tried to claim it was a sarcastic joke, but the deputy wasn't having it and took her in for misusing the 911 system. Watson screamed and was rowdy during her trip to jail. She did, however, ask the deputy if they could stop to get cigarettes. 

Naked Burglar Caught on Camera
Police in Port St. Lucie are on the lookout for a naked man who broke into a car and stole $2 in loose change. The whole thing was caught on camera. The incident happened November 15 around 5:30 a.m. 

Police describe the suspect as a white male, possibly a teenager, standing five-foot-six to five-foot-nine, with light hair and a stocky build, which is honestly kind of rude to say after you've seen someone naked. 

Man Buys a Tank — Because "YOLO!" — but Gets Disappointed When It Doesn't Arrive 
Damon Becnel has a rich developer dad who owns a gated vacation resort. So when a 38-ton armored Sherman tank went up for auction, Becnel decided he'd buy it and drive it around that beachside resort. 

"I just had to do it — YOLO!" he told the Monterey Herald. So he bid $297,738 for the tank in 2014. It was part of an auction of military memorabilia that had been collected by a recently deceased millionaire. 

Weeks passed, however, and Becnel's tank never arrived. He kept getting the runaround from the auction company, so he flew out to where the tank was in California to see it for himself. Turns out the auction house let the formerly pristine tank sit outside in the rain with the hatch open. Unable to have the pristine tank of his dreams to drive around the beaches of Florida, Becnel has now sued for a refund.