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Trick Daddy Assures Us His New Line of Spices Is Safe for All Buttholes

There are three things Trick loves more than anything else:

1) The Kids
2) Good food
3) Booty

It's taken him 42 years, but he's finally found a way to merge these loves into one satisfying business venture. He's up in his kitchen right now, cookin' up a storm with his specialty line of delicious, GMO-free, vegan-friendly spices, because kids deserve a healthy home-cooked meal with a spice that satisfies but won't “burn your butthole.”
In what seems like it could totally be a skit on Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job, the “I'm a Thug” Miami rap legend takes to KickStarter to raise funds for the Jada Spice company collaboration.

“I want my spices to be the oldies but goldies in the years to come,” Trick implores. “I'm trying to inspire the women to start back cookin' for the kids because all this crazy fast foods is really goin' to kill 'em.”

He's got three Southern-inspired seasonings at the ready: a not-actually-chicken chicken salt, a “bi-polar” jerk seasoning (because it's versatile, I guess), and a “real black folk” Cajun blend. The video is full of insane quotes that may or may not be offensive to people under the age of 40. Why Trick insists cooking is a woman's job when he himself loves to cook so much is beyond us, but some things can be forgiven when you're dealing with the man who wrote “Nann.”

But Trick can't do this alone. He needs your help too.

Trick needs to raise funds for licensing, manufacturing, product development, hosting, web design, and all the complicated shit that goes down when you start a spice line, and that's where you come in. Just $10 buys you a ballerific bottle of Trick treat, and $20 gets you two. The goodies add up from there, but let's be real. It's not about the spices. It's about supporting motherfucking Trick Daddy, which every single one of you should want to do. If all goes well, he's going to start up that cooking show he's been threatening to host. If this pitch taught me anything, it's that the world needs a few episodes of Bitch! I Got My Pots.
But Trick's announcement to take his spice game to the next level should come as no surprise to us. Miami New Times spoke with Trick all about his love of food and his plans for a restaurant back in April. Let's hope this is the beginning of what will become a long line of delicious insanity courtesy of the 305 Mayor.