There are certain things you just don't do in Miami: Avoid parking and/or driving to the Beach at all costs. Never leave your laptop in your car. And never allow yourself to blow your entire paycheck on weekend party binges.
But how exactly does one avoid bankruptcy while livin' it up in the club oasis that is the Magic City? With your broke party experts at New Times' and this weekend's ten under $10 party guide.
From Aura the Band at Churchill's Pub to PillowTalk's Sammy D. at the Electric Pickle to Jimbo's 88th birthday bash at Gramps, here some things to do this weekend for all us non Russian oligarchs.
Eclectic Branches Fest. With Trench, Montage, Seafoam Walls, Pariah, the Bearings, and others. Friday and Saturday, April 24 to 25. Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami; 786-752-6693; grampsbar.com. Admission costs $5 each day.
Embrace the Magic City's eclectic music scene with the experimental noise of Trench, Montage's "real rock and roll," the "Afro indie rock" of the Kazoots, and some of the 305's most talented musicians at the two-day Eclectic Branches Fest.
Aura the Band’s Aura Debut-Album Release Party. With Sigh Kicks, Wilkes Oswald, Alex Villar, Two Elven Folk, Nacho Londono, and Years Apart. Friday, April 24, 8 p.m. Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. Admission costs $7. Ages 18 and up.
Watch Aura the Band "capture the moments you can’t put into words" through music as the four-piece soul rock outfit celebrates the launch of their debut seven-track.
PillowTalk. DJ set with Sammy D. Hosted by Jeremy Ismael, Yas Ke, and Daniela Strada. Friday, April 24, 10 p.m. The Electric Pickle, 2826 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-456-5613; electricpicklemiami.com. Admission is free before midnight with RSVP via eventbrite.com.
Party with all "The Outcast[s]" as PillowTalk's Sammy D spins his selection of sweet house tunes fused with just the right amount of "pop melodies, classic R&B, soul, and boogie" at the Pickle.
Incorrect Music. With Anthony Attalla and Ramon Tapia. Presented by Humans Alike and Push Fridays. Friday, April 24, 10 p.m. Steam Miami, 30 NE 14th St., Miami; 786-516-3393; steammiami.com. Tickets cost $10 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up.
There's no such thing as Incorrect Music, especially when it comes to Detroit house head Anthony Attalla's uhntz-uhntz label, Incorrect Music. So party it up with techno, the DJ-producer, and the Incorrect crew at Steam.
BarrioActivo. With DJ Andie Sweetswirl on the Pineapple Stage. Friday, April 24, 9 p.m. Ball & Chain, 1513 SW 8th St., Miami; 305-643-7820; ballandchainmiami.com. Admission is free. Ages 21 and up. "Pure addictive fusion!"
That's what los locos of BarrioActivo will be bringing to Calle Ocho's ol' Ball & Chain.
Mass. With DJs Carlos Menendez, Dino, DeadHead Valdez, and Manu. Saturday, April 25, 10 p.m. The Garret at Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-377-2277; grandcentralmiami.com. Admission costs $5 until midnight with RSVP via facebook.com, or $10 at the door. Ages 21 and up.
Get ready for "a night of alternative sounds for alternative minds" as the Mass DJs bring the dark dance tunes of EBM, classic industrial, minimal-synth wave, and the "sounds of futures past" to life at the Garret.
Octo Gato. Saturday, April 25, 11 p.m. Kill Your Idol, 222 Española Way, Miami Beach; 305-534-1009; facebook.com/killyouridolmiami.com. Admission is free. Ages 21 and up.
Gather all your "Superpuss" heroes and get weird with the 305's Octo Gato as the "one part punk rock, one part surf rock" crew stirs things up at KYI.
Cherry Pop Saturdays. Saturday, April 25, 10 p.m. Sidebar, 337 SW 8th St., Miami; facebook.com/sidebarmiami. Admission is free.
"Hit the club, have a drink, and listen to some dope tunes" with the Cherry Pop party people at Sidebar.
Jimbo's B-Day. With Loose Cannons and other guests. Sunday, April 26, 12 p.m. Gramps, 176 NW 24th St., Miami; 786-752-6693; grampsbar.com. Admission is free.
Eighty-eight years of "beer, bocce, and bullshittin'." That's what Miami homegrown hero, Jimbo Luznar will be celebrating on Sunday with music from Loose Cannons, smoked fish by Cap'n Greg, plenty of Bud, and bocce on Gramp's "homemade court, just like Jimbo's."
Backyard Boogie. Sunday, April 26, 3 to 11 p.m. Wood Tavern, 2531 NW 2nd Ave., Miami; 305-748-2828; woodtavernmiami.com. Admission is free.
Put on your "Boogie Shoes," party like it's 1975, and do the Backyard Boogie with your old-school friends at Wood.