No we're not all professionally trained in the culinary arts like those who handed out the official honors last night, but we know our way around food and the celebrities who hawk it. Therefore we deem ourselves qualified to bestow upon last night's Burger Bash entrants the following Unofficial Miami New Times' Short Order Awards:
Uttered by Rachael Ray as she accepted a framed poster: "I love Lee [Schrager] as much as burgers."
The "What Were You Thinking?" Award goes to Spike Mendelsohn. Yeah, the Hamburglar costume was cute, but hiding your handsome face from the meat-lovin' celebrity stalkers probably cost him some love.
Morimoto's offering had a runny egg and gravy sauce on it. It looked seriously unappealing, but even us critics had to give it a thumbs up for flavor after we got brave enough to take a bite.
Town Kitchen & Bar's Milk Stout Float (milk stout beer with a scoop of vanilla ice cream). It looked good and wins Chef Altman points for originality, but we're still scratching our heads trying to decide if we actually liked the flavors together.
Worst Thing to Pass Our Lips
Société's Chocolate & Roquefort Cheese Bites. Picture a spoonful of stinky cheese rolled in chocolate Pop Rocks. Our mouths were mortified.
Michael Symon. We knew he would win, not because his burger was otherworldly but because the line to take a photo with him snaked way out. He was undoubtedly the smartest marketer in the tent.
Most Unlikely, Unsuccessful Pairing
Whipped potatoes and mango chutney from the Idaho Potato folks. Big disappointment, especially for those who thought those little parfait glasses held ice cream with fruit topping.
Cutest Chef with the Spunkiest Burger
We can't help it: We just adore Ingrid Hofmann. Her Simply Delicioso Latin Burger with chorizo, Oaxaca cheese, and caramelized jalapeños and onions won our hearts.
Smartest Assembly Scenario
Bistro One LR at the Ritz-Carlton had FIU students working with a conveyor belt.
Most Unappetizing Giveaway
We were all about the free Amstel, Fiji water, Pepsi, Cape Cod potato chips and especially the Havaianas, but dog food? Seriously, RR? Not what we wanted to think about as we waited in line at the entrance.
Best Attempt at Representing the 305
El Mago de las Fritas: Even though we almost didn't forgive them for switching the spicy and mild El Mago sauce bottles on us, their burger with matchstick potatoes made Cubans proud.
Follow Short Order on Facebook and Twitter @Short_Order.