Ten Worst Foodie Christmas Tree Ornaments, Epic Fails

There are a lot of stupid niche markets that get exploited by crafty entrepreneurs come holiday season, but maybe the stupidest one we've seen yet is for foodie Christmas ornaments. They're not cute, or funny, and we don't know what kind of inbred, backwater, shit hole town you grew up in, but food items rendered in glass, ceramic, and resin don't have any place on a Christmas tree. By the way, Bah! and Humbug to all of you. We'll be going back to our cave to drink malt liquor, smoke weed and play video games now. Here are the ten worst foodie Christmas ornaments.

10. Eggplant

Invented when a Christmas ornament factory owner figured out how to offload all those defective spheres. If you bought this you are an idiot.

9. Sushi Roll

Is it just us, or does that look more like a shiny chunk of turtle shit than anything else. Why's it make us hungry?