Anthony Bourdain is at it again. The celebrity chef and author is on yet another Twitter rant. and the object of his scorn is none other than Geraldo Rivera.
First, a few weeks ago, Bourdain tweeted a completely justified message about Justin Bieber's pissing in a restaurant bucket instead of walking down the hall to use the bathroom (seriously, Biebs, how lazy can you be?):
In a preemptive strike, I plan to tell my daughter that Justin Beiber tortures puppies. http://t.co/JyqSNoEKEP
— Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) July 10, 2013
Now, Bourdain has a new victim, whose only crime is taking a really bad selfie.
According to the New York Daily News, Rivera posted a self-portrait that shows him wearing only a towel early Sunday morning. The tweet: "70 is the new 50 (Erica and family are going to be so pissed... but at my age...)" The newsman then probably saw the error of his ways and removed the photo, but not before Anthony Bourdain retweeted it -- seven times. First Bourdain wrote this:
There's a struggling Yorkie under the towel. pic.twitter.com/wHI5LNUrvs
— Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) July 21, 2013
Then he expanded on the Yorkie-in-the-pants theme:
Dear Geraldo: if you wrap the Yorkie in electrical tape, it won't explode pic.twitter.com/9rFps3aub0
— Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) July 21, 2013
Umm, then he clearly gave a mayoral endorsement:
Geraldo throws his hat into the New York mayoral race pic.twitter.com/Sxh9dBEuWk
— Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) July 21, 2013
At least this one has a food reference:
The face that launched a thousand breakfasts pic.twitter.com/aTTNOnynRd
— Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) July 21, 2013
Getting off track again:
"Reporting live from Anbar Province" pic.twitter.com/qWnBpDsWAV
— Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) July 21, 2013
Some grooming tips:
Stop shaving your pubes over my sink! pic.twitter.com/qMttiV9CtB
— Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) July 21, 2013
Before trying to round up some musical suggestions:
What music is playing in the background? "Night fever, night fever.."
#GeraldoManscapePlaylist pic.twitter.com/jAITWmCM7g
— Anthony Bourdain (@Bourdain) July 21, 2013
Oh, and yes. Bourdain did get some awesome playlist suggestions, including "I Touch Myself," "Big Time," "Dancing With Myself," and "Danger Zone." Look, maybe tweeting that pic seven times is overkill (our eyes are bleeding), but sometimes tough love is the only way to get through to someone. And Bourdain's method just might have worked, because Rivera tweeted:
Note to self: no tweeting after 1am
— Geraldo Rivera (@GeraldoRivera) July 21, 2013
Frankly, we'd love to see Geraldo as a "special surprise guest" when Bourdain hosts Piers Morgan Live on CNN Thursday, July 25, at 9 p.m. Sure, Bourdain is planning on having his pal Eric Ripert join him, along with cronut king Dominique Ansel and Mario Batali. But there's always room for a seminaked news guy, isn't there?
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