A Psychic Predicts Dwyane Wade's Future, and It Involves Heat Fans Crying

With basketball demigod Dwyane Wade's Miami Heat contract expiring after this season, speculation has reached a fever pitch: Will he stay? Will fellow superstar LeBron James, currently a Cleveland Cavalier, join him on the Heat to form a championship juggernaut? Or will Wade instead return to his hometown of Chicago, or to the klieg lights of New York, where he'll spend his days frolicking with Jay-Z and fist bumping with Spike Lee? Every sports pundit, from the guy on ESPN to the lush on the barstool, has an expert prediction.

But let's face it: They don't know shit. So Riptide decided to get the leg-up on the competition by seeking answers from a true seer. We rang Coconut Grove's Sandra Richardson, an "internationally known psychic consultant" and avowed witch, who in 2008 correctly predicted Barack Obama's presidential victory.

Apparently, all of that cauldron spicing leaves very little time for the sports pages. "Who is Dwyane Wade?" was her first question -- and she'd never heard of this LeBron character either.

But using the players' ages and a painstaking perusal of tarot cards -- interrupted intermittently by her feral cat -- Richardson dropped some serious celestial knowledge.

Let's began with the most optimistic concern: Will Wade and James sign with Miami next year? "I don't know if that's going to happen," she remarks after a few minutes. "When I first turned over the cards, the feeling was it costs too much money to have both of them here. If they ever do play together, I see it as being very short-lived... like in an all-star-team sort of situation."

That's a nice kick in the groin. But tell us, Karen: Will Wade at least be back next year? "It kind of feels like he's going to move on," she says, crushing us again. "It feels like he's been kind of unhappy here or unsatisfied. It feels like he wants a change. There's maybe even been some kind of disagreement that he wants to get away from."

There was his ugly divorce and a lawsuit against a former business partner here. Well, Sandra, before we put our head in the oven, you might as well let us know: Is Wade going to Chicago or New York?

"Wow," she remarks after a few minutes of musing. "This is going to sound kind of unusual, but at some point in his career, he'll do both of those cities. As for which he'll do first, it looks like Chicago."