If you're going to call 911 eighty consecutive times, you'd better have a damn good reason: snakes biting your eyeballs, bikers armed with medieval weapons circling your house, multiple missing limbs.
A 34-year-old man in Tampa did not have a damn good reason for calling 911 eighty times last Sunday. Jarvis Carlton Sutton wanted Kool-Aid, hamburgers, and weed, and he wanted police to bring them to him.
Sutton kept 911 operators busy Sunday by blitzing them all day long with phone calls.
When Pinellas County Sheriff's deputies finally showed up at Sutton's house, he was honest about his demands.
"The defendant admitted to calling 911 because he 'wanted Kool-Aid, burgers, and weed to be delivered to him,'" a sheriff's deputy wrote in his arrest report, according to the Tampa Bay Times.
Instead of delicious snacks, the officers gave Sutton a pair of handcuffs and took him to jail on charges of misusing the 911 system.
En route to jail, he began chewing on the foam behind a seat in the cruiser.