Jilted Cleveland fans have tried pretty much everything to deal with their emotions: burning jerseys in effigy, singing angry ballads in comedy clubs, even penning delusional rants in Comic Sans. But now someone has gone too far.
Meet MrsLeBronWade.com, a site built on the premise that D-Wade and LBJ tied the knot earlier this summer and chock-full of turgid "satire" and Photoshopped pics of LeBron's head on hot women's bodies that you just can't unsee. This. Must. Stop.
The blog, admittedly, is slick. The Photoshops are top quality, the pink heart background is a nice touch and the writers went far enough to include a "Links" section with LBJ's "favorite sites": Tampax, a wedding registry, and a Miami breast augmentation service.
It's not clear who is putting the time and effort into MrsLebronWade. Riptide sent an email to the site's contact link last week and have yet to hear back.
But once you get past the initial chuckle-slash-gag reflex at the indelible image of LeBron as an attractive lady, the basic premise of the site is not only tired, it's a bit offensive. You see, LBJ ditching his star-less team in Cleveland for Wade's Heat is like, totally gay!
So the only way to pillory LeBron is to imagine his transformation into a lady-boy about to betroth his new teammate.
Sorry, not buying it, guys. (Even if, OK, the Chris Bosh as an adopted baby angle is pretty hilarious.) This is a league with a not exactly friendly record toward its gay players.
But let's drop the serious arguments and just agree on one thing: These photos are an abomination. Even if you find the whole LBJ-D-Wade marriage angle hilarious, you may want to consult a psychiatrist after spending a few minutes with a shot like this:
Riptide, for one, is off to take a cold, cold shower.