Fidel Castro Endorses Robot in U.S. Presidential Race

If you ask some of your more ill-informed Republican friends they'll probably tell you that Barack Obama and Fidel Castro are like totally BFF4eva, but Cuba's ailing retired dictator isn't a big fan of Obama. Nor does he like the Republican candidates much either, or so he seems to think. In fact, he's gone ahead and endorsed a robot in the race. Oddly, there actually is a robot in the running.

In one of the occasional columns he publishes in state-run media, Castro presented his endorsement in a piece titled "The Best President for the United States." That best president is apparently non-human.

See, Castro doesn't much care for anyone currently running for president:

Imagine Obama, that wordsmith, for whom, in his desperate search for re-election, the dreams of Martin Luther King Jr. are light years further away than the Earth is from the nearest inhabitable planet.

Worse yet: any of the Republican Congressmen who are presidential hopefuls, or any leader of the Tea Party carries more nuclear weapons on their backs than ideas of peace in their heads.

So, with pretty racist logic he decides a robot is best:
Is it not perhaps obvious that the worst thing of all this is the absence in the White House of a robot capable of governing the United States and preventing a war that would put an end to the life of our species?

I am certain that 90 percent of registered Americans, especially Hispanics, Afro-Americans and the growing numbers of the impoverished middle class would vote for the robot.

Is Castro not paying attention to the race? Was he not aware that there is a well oiled, semi-sentient being who completely lacks human emotions in the race? Has he not read about Mitt Romney?

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.