Say what you will about the LeBron to Miami soap opera, but from the Mistake on the Lake to the Magic City, it's inspired some of the finest trash talking since some guy in Brooklyn invented the "Yo Mama" joke. The best insultologists among us aren't content with simply talking smack, though. For a cultural event on the level of LeBronageddon, only hastily written burns over pulsating hip hop beats will do the trick.
In fact, a whole new subgenre of LeBron smack-talking songs have popped up on YouTube this summer. Click through for the five finest entries in this new field of human expression:
5. Solo D, "Miami Music Theme Song"
Key Shit-Talking Lyric:
LeBron to da cib / D Wade stays home, Bosh came through / and now it's game on!
4. Hungre Rapper, "HEAT"
(Note: John "Hungre Rapper" Longenecker, the roofer, rapper and hopeful hurricane hunting reality star we wrote about last month, inspired this list with his new song. Read more about his quest here.)
Key Shit-Talking Lyric:
Dwyane Wade and Bosh / dunking on you too, Pau Gasol, what yo soft ass gonna do?
3. NMB Stunnnaz (featuring smooth rhythm), "D Wade LeBron (Miami Heat Song)"
Key Shit-Talking Lyric:
I'm out scorin on them chumps like LeBron James / snappin my opponents for points like Rick James.
2. Flo Rida, "We Already Won"
Key Shit-Talking Lyric:
We already won, we already won / we got LeBron James, and it's already done
1. Mike Polk, "LeBron James Is A Bitch"
(Note: Thanks to the pure work of shit-talking genius written by the peerless Mike Polk, Riptide has no choice but to award top slot to a Clevelander. Polk's sentiments may be ridiculous, but the smack-down has yet to be topped. Just remember: Like Flo-Rida said, we already won.)
Key Shit-Talking Lyric:
Your leaving hurts our economy truly don't ya know / all the crack dealers are sad to see your mom go
Will you take her down with you to the land of the sun / or will you just set her loose and let DeLonte have fun?
