Hurricane Irene's Latest Path Confirms God Hates Northeast More Than Florida

Fresh after being hit by and spending most of the rest of the day tweeting about a minor earthquake, the northeastern portion of our fine country might have to deal with a serious natural disaster. Hurricane Irene has shifted away from Florida and now has North Carolina and the northern coast in her path.

It appears Florida will avoid a direct hit from Irene (which means we will not get to make any Me, Myself & Irene jokes) and will skirt our shores. But expect some rain and possibly winds beginning late today and intensifying Thursday. The good news, though, is that the system's western side is much weaker than its eastern half.

Instead, the storm has set its sights on North Carolina, or at least that's what the latest NOAA predictions say:

After that, it appears Irene is scheduling a date with the very same region that was visited by yesterday's earthquake (however, we all know that hurricane paths are unpredictable). Yet it's pretty apparent that, at least for this week, the natural disaster God/gods/Goddess/goddesses have it in for the Northeast -- and have a soft spot in their hearts for Florida.

Not that we should be gloating. The storm has the potential to cause some serious damage. Irene could hit the Carolinas as a Category 3 storm. It would be the most powerful storm to hit America since Wilma ransacked Florida in 2005.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.