Dr. Captain America Will Not Go To Jail For Burrito Groping Incident... Or Something

In yet another of our occasional reminders that Floridians outside of Miami-Dade are crazy, horrible people here's the lead from a newstory from Central Florida news station WFTV: "The Brevard County doctor who was arrested for groping a woman while dressed as Captain America with a burrito in his pants will not go to jail."

Do you really need to know any more than that? Probably not, but just in case: Raymond Adamcik, a 55-year-old doctor, was attending a costume party in Melbourne at the On Tap Sports Cafe and Lounge back in 2007.

Adamcik approached a woman while holding a burrito and began to talk dirty. He then reached his hand between her legs and squeezed. The woman's boyfriend confronted him, but Adamcik punched him to the floor.

According to police reports posted at the Smoking Gun, because there were so many Captain America costumes at the bar, all Captain Americas were asked to step outside. Once Adamcik was identified he asked to use the bathroom, during which time he tried to flush some marijuana down the urinal.

Instead of jail Adamcik will have to do community service, take drug and alcohol classes and submit to random drug tests.