Starbucks Marches On

Taking over a neighborhood near us

The gentrifying march of Starbucks goes on.

The giant, earth-devouring coffee chain has planted its latest flag on the northeast corner of Biscayne Boulevard and 30th Street, in front of the moldering former Delicias del mar Peruano restaurant, and just a couple blocks north of the caffeine-craving New Times offices.

The site should be a handy location for the patrons of Boulevard Liquors

("Checks Cashed 1.5%") spilling out onto the sidewalk across the street, who might be looking for a quick wake-me-up.

Starbucks officials couldn't say exactly when the new location would open, but they did confirm the following:

  • Starbucks has more than 13,000 stores in 39 countries.

  • This year Starbucks will open approximately 2,400 new stores (worldwide) in fiscal year 2007, which is (on average) six to seven new stores a day.

  • Starbucks has a long-term goal of opening 40,000 stores worldwide (20,000 in the U.S.; 20,000 internationally).

  • Starbucks has a longer term goal of taking over the United Nations, producing all the world's entertainment, and enslaving all of humanity to the coffee bean by the year 2100.

  • Sorry, that last line must be the coffee talking. --Frank Houston