Lady Gaga is not afraid but absolutely terrified of being seen as boring or mundane. There's really nothing else we can assume based on her fashion choices. Who could forget the red lace McQueen number she wore while accepting an award at the 2009 MTV Video Music Award, or the Kermit the Frog dress clearly stolen from Miss Piggy's boudoir? Her latest outfit/shock wear? At this year's MTV Video Music Awards, she wore a dress comprised of raw meat, accessorized with a meat hat, meat shoes, and of course, the always necessary meat purse.
To think, people around the world are starving, and she flaunts a side of beef like it's all good. We'd like to see her donning such tasty attire in a place like Cuba. But we digress. Although Gaga's antics are becoming more and more expected and less shocking, we thought we would play along and brainstorm ten fashion choices that don't require any creatures to be ruthlessly slaughtered. You know, in case PETA starts demanding a meat-free makeover for this fame monster.
Here are our cruelty-free options for the Gaga:
1. Banana headpiece
2. Bamboo berry bustier
3. Cucumber cumber bun
4. Orange peel cuff
5. Lettuce lace skirt with bean sprout fringe
6. Cumquat clutch
7. Lima bean legwarmers
8. Artichoke choker
9. Green bean garter
10. Cheddar cheese wedges - Stinky? Probably, but I can't imagine raw meat smelling that much better.
There you have it, Miss Gaga. Maybe now you'll turn away from your bad
romance with meat. For the record, if you really wanted to shock us
you'd just show up in jeans and flats.
-- Rebecca Salgado