Sex & Gender

Can Singles Mingle with the BDSM Crowd?

Don't know which hand to hold the whip in? Get sex, love, relationship advice from Mistress Lera by emailing [email protected]. Read more about Mistress Lera at Notes From a Miami Dominatrix.

Dear Mistress Lera,

This South Beach gal is in dire need of your advice. Although, I haven't done anything over the top sex-wise, I know that I am a naughty, naughty girl. I want to experience the worlds of BDSM and avant-garde sex to the fullest, but the problem is that I am single, and unfortunately, I've got no playmate to experiment with. How can I be safe and have fun with these experiences and where the hell do I go to find them?


Miss Kinky Boots

Dear Miss Kinky Boots,

You are a lucky, lucky bitch! Stay single and enjoy it while you can. Being alone, and not in a depressing way, actually gives you an advantage, because in the "avant-garde" world of naughty sex, there's always a shortage of hot, young, and single chicks like yourself. If by avant-garde sex, you mean swinging, then you highly underestimate the beauty of your singleness. All those swinger folks will seriously worship you.

A lot of the sex clubs are very exclusive, and hard to get into. They are very picky about who they welcome into their world of hedonism. But, if you are a beautiful, young, and single female, then you get right in, and sometimes, you even get the benefit of not paying any membership fees.

Joining a good sex club is like joining a secret society. You have to get invited through-a friend-of-a-friend. You can't just turn up at the door and expect them to let you in. I know it may seem a little snobby, but this is done for your benefit, and for the benefit of other players. Usually, swinger and sex clubs, have or want no unnecessary drama. They want to keep things safe, fun, and simple.

Now with BDSM play parties, things are a tad bit easier. And you're lucky you live in South Beach, because you don't have to look very far for a good BDSM party. Four months ago, a Brooklynite revived the fetish scene in SoBe. And now, if you are too lazy to drive to Fetish Factory parties up in Ft. Lauderdale, you've got a great place in your own neighborhood, Rokbar. Monthly "Submission" parties are super safe and wickedly fun. Players with 10+ experience from all over South Florida, come to South Beach for that party to play, listen to good music, and actually teach certain aspects of BDSM to newbies and the curious.

As for being single, and staying safe, you can always bring your female friends along to keep an eye on you.

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