Film & TV

Bad Girls Club Miami Episode 6: Jamaica Me Go Home

Kristen gets sloppy in Jamaica.
Yay! Bad Girls Club Miami is back! How we went a week without this show, we have no idea. The ladies headed out of town in last night's episode. Why did no one send any of the Bad Girls to Hedonism II before? Sluts + encouraged nakedness = the ideal situation for everyone involved in this program.

So the weekly "who is the most annoying girl of the week" award goes to

Catya. She is on a free trip to Jamaica and is upset about sharing a

room with other girls. (Um, doesn't she share a room with girls back in

Miami?) She officially took the prize when she starts hating on the

male stripper show. Everyone, including lesbian Brandi, loved

it. Catya was just being a douche.

But of course she starts feeling the guys out when the hottest one (who the island calls the Jamaican Sensation) tries to holler at her. We guess if you can't beat 'em, make out with them, right? One shocker of the episode: Erica doesn't suck at all. She creeps on sexy men, dirty dances, and even gets drunk! Where the fuck did this all come from?

Got to love when the hotel suggests a nice midday activity: a wet T-shirt contest..... at 1:30 in the afternoon. This place is obviously a class act: It looks like this is happening at a casual lunch for guests. Nothing like a club sandwich with a side of drunk, soaking-wet trainwrecks.

Wonder why they call Danielle "dirty d?" Maybe because when she and Erica went parasailing, they announced that while they're high in the sky, they will be peeing on everyone down below. Hey D, we cant imagine you're the first to do that, but it's kinda like peeing in the pool. If you're going to do it, just keep it to yourself.

And just like the sun rises in the morning, Kristen gets drunk and angry. She freaks out on her "shadow" Kayleigh when she doesn't have her back during a verbal altercation and then proceeds to throw Kayleigh's shit on their back porch. It's the whole Morgan scenario, but better, because blondie literally throws her belongings all over the beach (thank god there was no mannequins there to bite the dust.) Once Kayleigh finds her stuff scattered along the sand, she decides to pack up and head home. We find out what home later. 

Catlyn is just shocked this all goes down. She says she wanted to move into a house with a bunch of girls who conduct themselves well. Bitch, this isn't the Lifetime Network for Women, this is the Bad Girls Club. With all the Jamaica drama, Cat decides to call it quits and head back home because she can no longer take the girls and their wild ways.

She thinks by going back to her casa, she's going to make us all forget that, um, just last week she was STARTING fights on the beach. Oh and lets not forget her friends from the week before that were vomiting and threatening domestic violence. Bitch, if you apply for The Bad Girls Club, then you need to accept that you're a hot mess, slut, or a girl who looks generally bad to society. Who are you trying to fool?

Just like in the Oscars, instead of thanking Jesus, we'd like to thank Oxygen for the great montage of Cat being so "classy." It makes you realize this place is kinda like a brothel -- whores come in, they come out, and they come right back in for another day, another dollar. Oh, and that Kayleigh might be out of Jamaica... but she isn't out of the house.