Film & TV

Basketball Wives, Episode 4: Fiestas, Fists, and Food Stamps

Everyone catch last night's episode of Basketball Wives? Looks like Suzie Ketcham is alone in this Basketball Wives game. Gloria Govan is leaving her ass for L.A., and Tami Roman said she pretty much would rather hang with Shaunie O'Neal, Evelyn Lozada, and Jennifer Williams over Suzie any day of the week. In other words, you're pretty boring.

We loved that our favorite local cupcake shop was on the show last night! Misha's Cupcakes

is the best thing to ever happen to our lives and our stomach. But our

question is: Who the hell is Ashley? Royce Reed and Suzie head there to

taste treats for her event, but we're not really sure who she is or what

she is doing there.

You might remember her from when Jennifer called her out for apparently putting her friend's info on Craigslist, which by the way is still really funny. Her little name tag says "Ashley--Mother, Rafer Alston's child," so we suppose she is a baby mama. Dear VH1, all these ladies coming and going is confusing. Can't we just stick to the main core group?

And why can't Jennifer just accept that this whole marriage to Eric thing didn't work out? He cheated, he's never home, and his teeth are way too white. It's really time to toot and boot him to the curb, Jenn. But even though the girls are pretty straightforward with their words, "Girl, get rid of your security blanket," says Evelyn, they are super supportive. I guess we now see why they do this crazy ass show.  We hope her trip to the therapist helps her go find herself an NFLer like the rest of them.

While we watch Evelyn pick out her new car, you might be thinking to yourself: How the freak does she afford that Porsche? Well, unlike the other women, Evelyn has a legit job (actually, her own business). Head down to Dulce Shoes in Coral Gables to get yourself a pair of Basketball Wives-approved heels. Their shoes might help you snag your very own athelete.

Okay, we see why Shaunie runs this crew.  She was once married to the oldest basketball player in the league, and now she has pulled herself one hot piece of ass, if we do say so ourselves. Honestly, her boy Marlon is out of control hot. She is officially our hero.

Now for Ashley's charity event -- where do we start? First, Tami is pretty hilarious with her inquiries to Ashley regarding her man: "Who is he? Did he ever cheat on you? Girl, where is he?  You didn't invite Evelyn? That is some bullshit."

After this list of questions, we couldn't be happier that she is on the show. The more she is around, the better.  Is there anything more glorious than a grown woman getting wasted and full-blown admitting it? God, then to see her take off her shoes and start patting her weave was just too much.

And just as we thought it couldn't get much better, she tried to stampede Jennifer and had to be escorted out by security like it was the freaking Jerry Springer Show.  And we thought Evelyn and Jennifer walking their happy asses through the door would be the highlight. Oh, how wrong we were.

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