The 17th annual Bob Marley Fest hits Bayfront park this Saturday, February 27th with more Marley-kid performances than you can shake a joint rolled up in a copy of the Miami Herald at (hey at least then the paper'll be put to good use).
The list of what you can't bring into the park includes video and audio recorders, flash cameras, coolers, picninc baskets, cans, bottles, personal fireworks, weapons, umbrellas, chairs, food, and drinks.
Weed's not on the list, so that means it's allowed right? Wrong, chances are if security find it, they're gonna keep it.
Here are our top five ways to sneak your weed into the Bob Marley Movement Caribbean Festival. We'd like to dedicate it to the burnout who decided to make the festival website scroll sideways.
5. In Your Shoe -
Cause don't nobody wanna dig in your stank ass feet.
Wearing sandals? Get a job and buy some Chuckers fucker or see below.
4. In Your Dreadlocks -
What's that old cartoon with the guy who pulled mad random shit out of his fro?
Be that guy.
Especially if you look like this guy.
3. In Your Bra -
Sure your friends might call you Biggie Smalls cause your left boob looks bigger than your right one, but it'll be worth it when you light one up with the Jr Gong.
To all the chicks out there who don't wear bras, more power to you.
2. Tie Your Bag To A Long String and Swallow It -
Leave the string hanging out your mouth, then when you get inside, pull.
Don't wait in the entrance line too long or your gastric juices will begin to digest your weed bag.
Disclaimer: If you do this you may choke and die.
1. In Your Panties, Underpants, or Boxers -
It is, but no festival worker has the right to go there.
Sure you could just keep weed in your pocket, your hat, buy it inside, inhale all the second hand, scavenge, find bags on the ground, steal, beg, and borrow, but why go through all that trouble when you can just bring it in yourself.
No underpants? See 5 through 2.