Remember when the Red Hot Chili Peppers would run around with socks precariously covering their penises? That signature on-stage antic resonated so much with the alternative rock audience -- and eventually wider popular culture -- because it was the closest the Peps had ever come to expressing their true essence.
Though lead singer Anthony Kiedis went through a newly mature phase at the tail end of the '90s, his lyrical subject matter has always been mostly concerned with bumping and grinding, among other kinds of bare-skinned physical contact between horny human beings.
And when Kiedis isn't frothing at the, uh, mouth like a torturously riled-up frat boy? Well, he freely improvises a brand-new language that only he understands.
After the jump, check out the Red Hot Chili Peppers' top five completely ridiculous lyrics.
The Song: "I Like Dirt" (1999)
Actual Lyrics: "Space is made of everything/And I'd be fire that I bring/I live in a dream/In your spring/I live in a dream"
We highlighted this memorable verse from the band's turn-of-the-millennium redemption album, Californication, because it vividly exemplifies the Peps' distinctly proto-Juggalo approach to science. We are certain that if Anthony Kiedis hadn't proclaimed that "Space is made of everything" with such pre-Gallilean abandon, the Insane Clown Posse's Violent J may have never conducted his interrogation of magnets and just how the fuck they work.
The Song: "Suck My Kiss" (1991)
Actual Lyrics: "K-i-s-s-i-n-g/Chicka chicka dee/Do me like a banshee/Low brow is how/Swimming in the sound/Of bow wow wow/Aw, baby, do me now/Do me here I do allow"
If you ask anybody to do an impression of RHCP's frontman, odds are they'll blurt out a series of James Brown-style surfer caveman grunts. For three decades, Kiedis has mashed up Mother Goose's book of rhymes with garbled, Lollapaloozian cries of lust and madness. You know the way rich old ladies talk to their little dogs? Add a little sexually frustrated Fred Flintstone to the mix and you've got a timeless recipe for success.