If you follow Lil Wayne's every word, whisper, tweet, or bowel movement with the same kind of psycho obsession as Crossfade, then we suggest you get a life, a little professional help, and maybe even some medication. It's ruined our life. And it can ruin yours too.
But if you're a normal fan with a perfectly healthy amount of interest in the Best Rapper Alive, here's a quick update from the World of Wayne.
1. Yummy Gummies, Motherfucker
He flew to Dallas on Tuesday, checked into his hotel, and was so happy to find "chocolate gummie bears" that he tweeted about it.
Weezy and his new squeezy, Dhea, spent last night watching the Mavericks gang-rape the Miami Heat.
3. Mo' Money, Mo' Problems
The setlist for his MTV Unplugged special, airing Sunday at 9 p.m., will include a new track called "Nightmares From the Bottom," which the rapper tried to explain for MTV, saying: "I mean simply, sleeping at the top with nightmares of the bottom. Everybody says it's lonely at the top. It is lonely, so I dream, though, and the only thing I dream about is being down there with the people that ain't lonely. Thank God I am alone."
Uhh ... Say what?
5. Killin' It at Cameo
Lastly, Mr. Carter is throwing a massive party tomorrow night. Officially, this shit is only a hosting gig. But since the man can't stand to go longer than an hour and 11 minutes without a mike in his hand, Crossfade can pretty much guarantee a half-assed track or two. Plus, Weezy might have a bowel movement. And we'll be there for the whole thing!
Lil Wayne and special guests with DJs Affect and Mummy. Cameo, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Doors open at 11 p.m. and cover costs $25. Call 786-235-5800or visit cameomiami.com.