The Coconut Grove Arts Festival. A Miami tradition.
Whether you like crappy overpriced art or not, it is a
ten-dollar people-watching extravaganza. On a gorgeous day, it is the perfect excuse to get liquored up with your friends, eat a gyro, and watch a great band like Suénalo at Peacock Park.
However, some things can go horribly wrong. And Crossfade was there this past Saturday to witness five such mishaps.
5. Patricio Luckyou
Man, 12:30 in the afternoon is no time to watch Michael Hutchence's untalented Latin twin rock some shit. His band seemed talented enough. Just lost. And sad.
4. Ryan Stone Music
Aging alt-rock singers are never a good time. Definitely the wrong vibe after fighting for a $20 parking spot.
3. Did We Mention Ryan Stone Music?
Oh, right. We did. Let's move on.
2. The Mispronunciation of the Word Suénalo
In an attempt to kill time as the band tuned up and readied to play, the douchey master of ceremonies made light of his several failed attempts to pronounce Suénalo correctly last year.
He joked and went through "Sweenilo," "Seeniro," and other gringo bumblings. At last, it was time to introduce the band, and he blew it again! So much so that singer Amin De Jesus had to beging the show by announcing to the crowd, "The name of the band is Suénalo!"
1. Those Goddamn Tiger Pants
Yeah, Miami is a hotbed for European tourists committing unforgiveable fashion sins. But this poor chap with the blue "Italia" baseball cap and spiked bracelet stole the show thanks to the most frightening pair of pants ever.
It's really hard to watch a show when a painted tiger with a wedgie is watching you like its next meal.
-- Eric Garcia