Go gas up your midnight purple donk, load six Marshall stacks into that big-ass trunk, snag some Hennessy and promethazine, and pick up your girl 'cause next Friday, come sundown, we're driving into the deep, dark, insidiously dry heat of the Arizona desert for a bass rager so brutal you'll black-out till the next eclipse.
All right ... So we're not actually roadtripping across the country. We're only cruising down North Miami Avenue into the grimy gut of downtown. And we're only seeking out the scorched earth of Eve.
But if Phoenix product and heavy low-end hitter Sluggo (AKA Nick Suddarth) gets his way, it won't be much different from getting intoxicated, bashed by bass, and left unconscious in some endless Sonoran nowhere.
Originally one-half of dubstep duo Ultrablack, the Slug's been honing his brand of drum 'n' bass, hip-hop, and grime since 2007 and it's dubby, devastating, and dangerous. You'll sweat. You'll hallucinate. You'll lose your donk and your girl. You'll get into a fistfight with a four-armed saguaro cactus. And when you finally wake up, the sun will be hiding behind the moon. Guaranteed.
Sluggo with Juan BassHead, Methodus, Gooddroid, Gray Ghost, and others. Friday, April 8. Eve, 1306 N. Miami Ave., Miami. The rager gets going at 10 p.m. Call 305-995-5050 or visit miamieve.com.