Miami cops beat 85-year-old lady turned ninja assassin

Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke lets Miami Police officers know there are bigger threats to their safety than 85-year-old grandmothers.

Don't let Hazel Mays's age and weak bones fool you. The little old lady is a menace to society, according to Miami Police. On June 27, she was walking near her house in west Coconut Grove when she allegedly refused to walk around yellow tape that arson investigators had put up around the scene of a fire. So they moved in to arrest her for disobeying a lawful command.

That's when cops claim the 85-year-old African American, who is hard of hearing, turned into a ninja assassin. In her arrest affidavit, a Miami officer contends Mays pulled his shoulder and reached for his gun. He also reports that Mays swung her arms and legs while she was on the ground.

He doesn't explain how she was upended.

Mays was arrested on felony charges of resisting arrest with violence, battery on a police officer, and depriving an officer of his gun. The cops also threw in misdemeanor charges for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest without violence. A judge dropped the three felonies during her bail hearing.

Following her release from county jail, Mays told a WPLG-TV (Channel 10) reporter that she did not fight back. She scoffed at the accusation she tried to disarm a police officer. "Anyone should know, weak as I am, what I am going to do with his gun?" Mays complained on camera. She added that the cops also slammed her 52-year-old daughter to the ground.

You can't be too careful with old folk even ones like Mays who have no prior arrests. Miami is a dangerous place. If I were the cops, I'd also be careful of: Scouts. Don't let their cuteness fool you. Girl Scouts are a threat to anybody with a sweet tooth.

I'd also be wary of my cocker spaniel, Rusty. He has a problem with authority. Just the other day he almost tore the mailman's leg off.

Marc Sarnoff, Coconut Grove's district commissioner, has made it publicly known he owns at least ten guns. So you better watch out for him, too.

Seriously, what happened to Mays shows a lack of leadership in the Miami Police Department. It is further proof that Chief Miguel Exposito must go. At the very least, the cops who arrested Mays should be on desk duty pending an internal affairs investigation into their irrational misconduct. These officers do a disservice to the policemen and women who are dedicated to serving the community.

Instead, Exposito condones treating African-Americans like animals. He's lucky Mays didn't become the ninth black person to be killed by cops since he took over. Exposito needs to be held accountable.