Rick Ross at King of Diamonds July 1

Rick Ross is the Boss. And he's got a personal stockpile of greenbacks almost as huge as the U.S. Treasury's cash stacks. So needless to say, Mr. Ricky can afford to celebrate American independence and excess in a bling-bang way that'd make even the fattest capitalist shine bright and star-spangled with wonder.

Unfortunately, the rest of us aren't superrich and we gotta closely monitor our cash-flow situation, all day, every day. So here are five tips for ballin' on a budget at the Boss's Fourth of July strip club kickoff party: (1) Leave the Maybach at home and take public transit 'cause gasoline ain't fucking cheap. (2) Toilet hooch is the new Hennessy. (3) Benjamins are glam and glorious, but there's no shame in making it rain with a fistful of sweaty, crumpled Washingtons. (4) Don't buy Wale a lap dance — he's lying about leaving his wallet at home. And (5) keep hustling in, um, moderation.