Program Notes

Am I joking? Is it "true"? What is this thing called credibility, love? Some local rockers took exception to my claims in a "Music" story last week that Billy Yeager is the only decent musician in South Florida. Others have questioned the factuality of a recent program note involving a rogue cop and Jack Off Jill. Cellar Door's Andrea Kaufman now wants to have a torrid love affair with me.

I must admit I fabricated the recent note that had me and Miami Herald editor Jim Hampton downing tequila at Washington Square. We were actually at Cactus Cantina.

This is truth, in its coldest form: WSHE-FM (103.5) has canceled its local-music show. You know, the one on Sunday nights (but not this past Sunday night), the one in which DJ Glenn Richards played nothing but the best of local music. The word butthorn is not strong enough. Last week's issue of New Times devoted a cover story and an in-depth "Music" story and a little column called "Program Notes" to nothing but local music. On any given night you can see Natural Causes or Rooster Head or the Goods or Mary Karlzen -- acts that are as good as any in the nation, in the world -- right here in Miami. CDs and tapes by these bands are coming out faster than most of us can keep up. Labels are sending their reps here in record numbers. Billboard magazine and Spin and others are aiming their media weight at Miami's music scene. It's the hottest thing this side of Seattle (aarrgggh!). "The show was a labor of love," Richards told me Monday morning, after we noticed his show wasn't on the previous night. "It was fun while it lasted. But I have no comment about the station or its decisions." I have a comment. The decision sucks. It was stupid. Idiotic. Butthornal to the max.

If you are a "physically challenged" person interested in becoming part of a pro dance troupe, call Karen Peterson at 378-6626.

You can't beat the heat, but you can join it. Beginning this Saturday you can party on a big floating patio bar called Weekends at Bahia Mar (two blocks south of Las Olas on A1A). Reggae's the music (beginning about 4:00 p.m.), with R.P.I. on Saturday and Le Coup on Sunday. Free parking and free dockage will be available.

This Saturday you'll find Baboons at the Zoo. Makes sense (more sense that WSHE canceling its best program). Baboons are a poetry-percussion thang in the Last Poets/Gil-Scott Heron vein. They open for Dore Soul.

Rodell Records is seeking acts. Send demos (three tracks max) to Box 93457, Hollywood, CA 90093.

Live shows that can't be canceled by WSHE: Tomorrow (Thursday) Kilmo and the Jazz/Blues Project plays a free show at Rosey Baby in Lauderhill. Check out reigndance (no capital letters, please) on Sunday at the Square. This Friday Load and the Fixtures do the Square. Don't miss Tonto Tonto with Richie Havens at Stephen Talkhouse on Friday.

Butthorn of the week: The Onion Bar, or Union Bar, or whatever that wart is that recently popped up next to Washington Square. Y'all better be careful about blocking a public thoroughfare with those rope stands. Somebody might get hurt. Might be you.

The media circus: Billy Yeager is a god. Jack Off Jill belongs in jail. And I'm not man enough to satisfy Andrea Kaufman. Hey, Hampton, your turn to buy a round. I need a drink. WSHE really did cancel the local-music show. Sometimes truth is weirder....