Felt Up

When I heard Fritz "e" Romeus was taking over a billiards bar, I was afraid to ask what role pool cues and balls would serve in his endeavor. See, Fritz, a tall, dark, Calvin Klein model-type of Euro-Caribbean descent, is the P.I.M.P. behind those famous Skin parties. You know, the sordid affairs droolingly covered by Deco Drive, where scantily clad sexpots cavort in and out of the spotlight, and the men MUST be accompanied by a lovely lady just to be admitted (okay, I just described most SoBe spots). Anyway Fritz has teamed up with Robert Sibel and Dwight Nelson to transform the Diamond Club into a chic billiard hall/lounge called Felt. It's filled with fat cats and slim models playing with eight balls, and here you don't need a silly black VIP card (like Skybar) to get in.

Since opening in mid-January, Felt has quickly become a sanctuary from the soulless vortex sucking the life out of Washington Avenue. All kinds of music are played there: rock, hip-hop, and just a smidgen of dance. Walking past the joint recently, I caught its laid-back, but slightly above casual air floating through a welcoming open door with the phat chopper parked out in front. It sucked me in like Linda Lovelace (I prefer retro Deep Throat to Jenna J any day).

Well, it wasn't just because of the vibe that I entered. Norma Jean Abraham, by far the most fun socialite in Miami, grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to every corner, showing me around. And boy, with her by my side, I sure made a lot of new friends. But one publicist from Norma Jean's entertainment company, appropriately named Party For Living, was a real tough cookie to break. Her name is Frenchie. Don't let the name fool you, she's old school -- no Barbie dress-up or kisses on both cheeks -- and she doesn't take shit from columnists. In what is becoming a consistent feature in BuzzIn, one that draws laughter from many and vomit from many more, I fell in love with a girl. Hey, they don't pay me enough to keep this kind of self-serving crap out of here.

Felt is located on 1242 Washington Ave, Miami Beach. Call 305-531-2114.