“Good evening, councilpeoples. You may call me Mistress," the one in the middle greeted officials.
"Mistress" — sporting a shiny silver suit, futuristic monobloc glasses, and candy-apple-red lipstick — proceeded to explain why she and her Daft Punk-doppelgänger cohorts were there: to propose that the commission set aside a chunk of the nearly $1 million allotted in a recently approved yard-waste-processing plan to fund a "sex dungeon" in Broward County. The two women behind her stood silently as she spoke.
“I propose that you use a quarter of that [million] to support doms and subs in Broward County to build a dungeon created for us, by us, the taxpayers and voting citizens," said Mistress.
She concluded by telling officials: "I look forward to spanking each and every single one of you at the new esteemed dungeon. You are dismissed."
“OK, thank you," replied Mayor Dean Trantalis with admirable aplomb. "And happy holidays to you.”
At last night's Fort Lauderdale City Commission meeting, "Mistress" spoke during public comment to propose that $250,000 of a $1 million solid waste management contract go "to support doms and subs in Broward County to build a dungeon." #BecauseFlorida pic.twitter.com/VI2FHVuU7B— Because Miami (@BecauseMiami) December 21, 2022
The pre-holiday antic, which portended a very naughty Christmas in the Venice of America, was unusual even by South Florida standards. In response to a video of the proceeding, a number of users on social media raised the very reasonable question: "Is this real?"
While it did in fact transpire, it appears the women were not there for their own pleasure, but as part of a marketing stunt for a new fetish nightclub opening in Miami.
Sources told Local 10 that the same women were recently spotted handing out business cards for the Krave X Miami nightclub near Miami International Airport, and late this afternoon Krave posted a clip from the commission presentation on its Instagram account. Other clips at @kravexmiami show a woman, whip in hand, inquiring of a gas station employee whether the quick shop purveys 20-inch dildos; another features an amply endowed woman's breasts propelling a man in a wheelchair through a Walmart.
Earlier this month, a press release announced the club's opening at the site of the former Pink Pussycat, the storied Miami strip club that shuttered earlier this year. Krave describes itself as a "sexy interactive circus" and performance venue.
"If you have a fear of nudity, spankings, clowns, whips, ticklings, peanut butter, or TIK TOK, do not attend," reads a disclaimer on the club's website.
Reached by phone, "Mistress Mikki" from Krave whispered to New Times that they could neither confirm nor deny whether the trio at the meeting was linked to the club.
Mistress simply reiterated Krave's mission: to create a space that welcomes everyone and to promote women-owned strip clubs.
"It's time for women to take over strip clubs," she adds.