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John Linn

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Snowman Fight

By John Linn
Mar 24, 2011

Jeff Monson is a bad man. At five-foot-nine and 230 pounds of gnarled muscle, this tattooed tank is the kind of guy you would dart across the street to avoid. What’s scary is because Monson is a veteran MMA fighter who trains in Coconut Creek, the chances of that happening...
Play it Again, Mario

By John Linn
Mar 17, 2011

There’s no music in the world more evocative than the theme songs to our favorite videogames. To test out this little hypothesis, simply hum the title track to Super Mario Bros. and see if you don’t instantly imagine yourself as a mustached Italian plumber wearing red overalls while hopping over...
Eating Godzilla

By John Linn
Mar 3, 2011

When it comes to snacking, the Japanese have transformed that lost stoner art into a science. Think about it: What other culture has such a creative, spontaneous, deranged, wacky, and random view of the snacking world? Those Wonka-like wizards across the Pacific have birthed treats such as Pocky, Japan’s most...
You're a Mean One, Mr. Black

By John Linn
Dec 23, 2010

If Hollywood ever reboots Dr. Seuss’s The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, the titular role of green meany will go to comedian Lewis Black. Think about it: the curmudgeonly veteran of The Daily Show sports a disposition of malcontent and vein-popping candor, but posseses a heart of gold inside. His new...
Delicious, Delicious Sexism

By John Linn
Jun 18, 2009

May God bless Hooters, that imitable representation of American sex at its most digestible. For 26 years, the chain of eateries has been dishing out bar food served by saucy gals clad in form-fitting orange and white spandex. And pent up males with indigestion all across the world are duly...
Who Got Game?

By John Linn
May 14, 2009

Back in the day, when gamers wanted to play together, they would grab a roll of quarters and head to the nearest arcade. But that was before home videogame consoles became so powerful they could best anything in a cabinet, all while offering the convenience of your couch. These days,...
The Huddle Just Got Hotter

By John Linn
May 7, 2009

The Lingerie Football League is the kind of thing no sane person would believe is actually real — rather, that it’s some Big Brand Beer marketing exec’s wet dream come true. But, no, the league of half-naked female athletes is as real as can be — which is more than...
Revenge is Sweet

By John Linn
Apr 30, 2009

It's pretty clear that over the past couple decades, nerds as a people have had their revenge, and then some. Through the magic of the Internets, spectacled geekwads now rule the planet. They control you through video games, too - World of Warcraft continues to plunder your free time like...
The Jerk

By John Linn
Apr 16, 2009

Every good guy needs a nemesis - someone to bash him when he's down, to kick sand in his eyes, and to generally piss people off. Which isn't to say we always hate these jerks; sometimes, they're damn funny. Which must be why veteran local comic Lisa Corrao is hosting...
Building a Better Beerfest

By John Linn
Apr 16, 2009

Listen here for a second, bub: There are a couple of things you're going to need to do in order to prepare yourself for the hoppy Valhalla that is the New Times Original Beerfest, sponsored by Paul & Young Ron and BX Beer Depot. First, head to miaminewtimes.com and pick...
Brew World Order

By John Linn
Apr 2, 2009

Want further proof that craft beer is the newest liquor du jour? Take a look at the Thursday-night beer-tasting going down at ritzy, vintage-format steak house Angelo & Maxie's. A&M's comes from New York City stock — think Madison Avenue suits hoisting a rocks glass in one hand and a...
Weapon of Choice

Robin Williams twitches and squirms back to the stage.

By John Linn
Feb 26, 2009

Long before it was the norm for comedians to redefine themselves with dramatic roles, Robin Williams was getting crap for it. Some people just couldn't get over this guy moving them to tears in films such Dead Poets Society, Awakenings, and The Fisher King. Despite a laundry list of stellar...
Extended Play

Octogenarians need love too.

By John Linn
Feb 26, 2009

See if this makes you uncomfortable: Picture Andy Griffith — lovable, huggable, grandfatherly Griffith. Next to him is Liz Sheridan — you might remember her as Jerry Seinfeld's doting mother Helen on the hit series Seinfeld. The two are floating in a sea of plush pillows atop a round bed...
Whistling Dixie

We can’t even whistle and walk.

By John Linn
Feb 26, 2009

There are few songs as commanding as "Sweet Georgia Brown." No matter where you are or who you are, when you hear those mercurial, whistling notes, you are almost insatiably driven to pick up a basketball and roll it over your shoulders from one arm to the other, before popping...
Uniquely Miami

The TM Sisters celebrate the Magic City.

By John Linn
Feb 19, 2009

Miami-based Tasha and Monica López De Victoria, known as the TM Sisters, have already garnered national acclaim for their eclectic art: 2-D, video, and interactive pieces that wed an indie aesthetic to an almost retro approach to futurism. But with “Ideal Tonight,” the TM Sisters’ first institutional solo show, opening...
Free Is the New Black

Pancakes, gratis? It’s too good to be true!

By John Linn
Feb 19, 2009

Only two days after the Super Bowl, Denny’s restaurants gave away a free Grand Slam breakfast to all comers across the nation, going so far as to advertise its intentions during the Big Game. The result: Folks queued up for hours in the longest lines ever to form outside of...
Something Wicked This Way Comes

It’s Friday the 13th!

By John Linn
Feb 12, 2009

The words Friday the 13th conjure up images of dudes donning hockey masks and wielding giant machetes to cleave up promiscuous teenagers. This Friday is February 13, and although said promiscuous youths will likely get to keep their nubile limbs intact, there will be dudes running around with hockey masks...
To the Victor Go the Spoils

By John Linn
Feb 5, 2009

Your average battle-of-the-bands event usually ends with some group winning the equivalent of a decent night working behind the bar. But at the Groove On Battle of the Bands at Gulfstream Park, the lucky winner will fly all expenses paid to New York City to play Live Nation’s Know Music...
Plus-Size Pain

By John Linn
Jan 22, 2009

Six hundred-pound wrestler Maximum Capacity is a sight to behold: He's a mammoth of a man, towering tall and wide above his already large opponents. The hair on his head is shaved into a wide Mohawk, tracing down into a braided mullet. He wears a menacing grimace, buttressed by an...
Go Ahead, Punk, Make My Movie

Local heroes and cool kids make a film!

By John Linn
Jan 15, 2009

Okay, here's the movie pitch: Take one part fetish vixen, Rubberdoll, and one part 600-plus-pound professional wrestler, Maximum Capacity. Top with a floater of creepy ghetto-bass purveyor Otto Von Schirach; add a splash of Miami promoter Notorious Nastie; garnish with the TM Sisters, Ted Vernon, and Sweat Records; then serve...
Don't Be a Bulbasaur

Come out of your hole for the Miami Pokémon Championship.

By John Linn
Jan 1, 2009

At first blush, the trading card phenomenon Pokémon might seem like it's just for kids. All of your adult sensibilities will cause you to roll your eyes when you hear the word Squirtle, which of course is a kind of Pokémon that looks like a turtle and squirts liquid at...
Meet Your Animaker

Voice actors, cosplay, and collectibles abound at Mizu Con.

By John Linn
Dec 25, 2008

Got a love for anime? Maybe you've been collecting for years — you have all the Voltron figures, including the metal kind made before the toy companies switched to safety-conscious plastic. And your stash of Speed Racer comics is nearly complete — all you need are a few issues of...