To be honest, a cocaine-addicted Miami Dolphins executive costume would have made sense for each of the past 50 Halloweens. But after Fins offensive line coach Chris Foerster was caught on video earlier this month snorting cocaine in the team's offices, asking to lick cocaine off a Nevada model's "pussy," and using said model as a "cocaine platter," the now-disgraced coach had to expect that some Schadenfreude-obsessed folks would make fun of him at Halloween parties.
Well, the internet sure delivered: As of 3 p.m. today, "disgraced Dolphins coach" remains the funniest Miami-themed costume of the year.
It helps that sport-themed costumes are far and away the easiest outfits to pull off: All it takes to complete a Foerster costume is a Dolphins T-shirt, maybe a clipboard, and some white makeup or talcum powder around your nostrils. (Or depending upon your proximity to South Florida and/or a nightclub, you might even get away with carrying actual yeyo out in the open — who's going to know?)
The actual Foerster's whereabouts are currently unknown. Earlier this month, Nevada model Kijuana Nige posted the now-infamous video clip online after the Dolphins brass took a hard-line stance against players kneeling during the National Anthem to protest police brutality and violence. Nige says she thought the team's move was hypocritical: She personally knew Foerster was happy breaking the law and his marriage vows with her on a regular basis, and she had the goods to prove it.
After she posted the video online, Foerster resigned, but Nige wasn't done clowning him: She told Miami-area ESPN personality Dan Le Batard that Foerster had lied to her about his
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“My motive was to basically expose the inequalities in the system,” she said. “It’s not just the NFL — the inequalities that come with being a minority compared with a white privileged person in America in general."
Fins fans are now wondering how many other executives are still hitting the blow a bit too hard. Earlier today, the team traded away
So, naturally, the coke-snorting clip has resurfaced: