Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson and his HBO football comedy Ballers have decided to relocate for Season 3, ditching production in Miami in favor of a move to Los Angeles. California has promised the show a $8.3 million TV tax incentive for making the move, as well as a few other bells and whistles the Sunshine State just couldn't match.
It's a tough L to take, but Miami must pick up the pieces and move on. Someday there might be another football comedy that hilariously feeds into South Florida stereotypes, but Ballers will always be the first.
Now that the series has packed up for the West Coast, Miamians will miss getting a glimpse at Ballers-Miami, a Miami that looks nothing like the one we see on our drives to work every day.
Rest in peace, Ballers-Miami. These are the parts about
Dwyane Johnson getting or giving bad news at a restaurant but never eating anything.
After watching roughly 20 episodes of
Rob Corddry's character, Joe
If there was a free drink to be had, Rob Corddry's character drank it. If there were some Miami models in his general vicinity, he took notice. If there was a line of cocaine being offered, hell if he turned it down. This man hilariously lived out every Miami power-agent stereotype and in the process became a friend we all wished we had — on Friday nights, not Wednesdays. Corddry's character will just be another L.A. jackass when Ballers moves to Cali next season. But in Miami, he was our jackass.
The Rock as the Most Interesting Man in Miami.
At times, Dwayne Johnson wasn't playing Spencer Strasmore; he was being the Rock. That undeniable charisma came through enough where you were no longer watching a TV show; you were watching Dwayne Johnson play Peak Miami Man. His leaving Miami for L.A. is essentially the TV equivalent of Dwyane Wade leaving Miami for the Chicago Bulls. We are devastated to be losing such an iconic figure.
Ndamukong Suh cameos.
Miami Dolphins defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh played a sizable reoccurring role in Season 2. But now that the show won't be filmed in the team's hometown, his role might come to an end. It was cool to see Suh on the show, because even if you're a fan of the Dolphins, this is the most you've ever heard him talk. It's rare that the highest-paid player on a team is so under-the-radar, but who's gonna tell Suh he should do more to let us get to know him better? Not I.
John David Washington playing the role of Miami Dolphins' Jarvis Landry.
It's never said, but the character Ricky
Dwayne Johnson reflecting in front of beautiful Miami backdrops
It's not clear if the show's producers will try to replicate Miami in a Los Angeles setting or if they plan to just write in a move to Calfornia in the script. Either way, nothing will measure up to the many Ballers scenes in which Johnson spends a moment reflecting on a sandy Miami beach or in front of a Lamborghini parked on Collins Avenue. Dwayne Johnson thinking in beautiful places around Miami is art, and it should be treated as such.
Dwayne Johnson enhancing Miami architecture.
What's even more beautiful than Dwayne Johnson? Dwayne Johnson stuntin' with his swag on a full buck in front of Miami architecture. Whether he's coming or going, Ballers makes sure Spencer Strasmore is always doing so in or around a building that makes you go, Damn, Miami is freaking sexy.
Glamorous Miami day-drinking/networking.
While we regular folks work our 9-to-5 jobs all week, fancy people across Miami spend their days sipping bubbly in a variety of scenic yacht and/or waterfront restaurant settings. At least we think so — we've never seen it in person. But Spencer Strasmore always found himself in the coolest Miami day-drinking settings populated by beautiful people who could hang out on a Tuesday at 2 p.m. for a glass of champagne and conversation.
South Beach club scenes.
Any Ballers viewer can tell you that whenever something bad happens on the show, there's usually a scene including either drinking in a VIP area at a club or boobs to follow. Usually, it's boobs, but sometimes it's a club. Because, Miami, ya see?! Ballers can try to replicate Miami, but the fact that we know it's not really in Miami just ruins everything. Even boobs.
Without a home in Miami, the show will never be the same. You will be missed, you wacky, over-the-top fantasy, you. For a little while at least.