There have been a lot of changes at Ultra Music Festival.
The audience is over 18 now. And many of rave culture’s familiar accoutrements — finger gloves, glow sticks, rage totems, etc. — have been banned under the fest’s new Prohibited Items policy.
There are those of adult age who cling to the furry-boots-and-tutu combo (essentially the boring, basic Barbie costume of the EDM age), but lots of party people took some serious sartorial risks at Ultra 2015.
Some of these experiments proved adorable, some of them not so much. We prowled the festival grounds, camera in hand, looking for the best of the best and a bit of the worst.
Worst: Shirts About Your Dick
You’re kind of setting yourself up to fail here. Also, it’s kind of creepy to wear clothes describing your genitals, whether extra large or teeny-tiny. Still, we had to ask: “Just how big is this dick of yours?” The answer: “Sometimes it hurts.” Ouch.
Best: Stand-Up, Stand-Out Hairstyles
This is not just a hairstyle. This is a lifestyle. If you want to get a Mohawk as legit as this dude’s punk ‘do, you’ll have to put in real time and effort. Every day for three years, he’s been sticking this sucker up, even if it means driving with his head tilted to the side. The key? Got2b Glued Blasting Freeze Spray. The benefits? “Everyone knows me. I was just on the live stream, and my friends are texting me like, ‘I see you! I see you!’”
Worst: Sexy Space Kitten Costume Kits
We were initially excited when we saw these trippy babes. Most of the time, space is some shit that just can’t be fronted on. But then we found out these girls bought their outfits from iheartraves.com, one of the more popular EDM attire websites we encountered on the scene, and honestly, if you can’t make up your own scantily-clad get-up, what are you good for? All you need is a bikini and some ribbon, it’s not that hard. Do it yourself.
Best: Putting on for Your City
This man comes from Asakusa, a district of Tokyo famous for its temples. Brilliantly showing off some hometown pride, he pulled together bits and pieces of each temple’s traditional garb, creating a unique and inventive way to represent his city and culture. It’s fun. It looks nice. It beats those damn flags too.
Worst: Chaining Yourselves Together
On the one hand, it’s kind of cute that you want to be bound forever. On the other, it’s kind of weird that handholding isn’t enough. Yes, this poor couple did learn the hard way, when they lost each other all day at Mysteryland in New York, and we feel for them. But doesn’t being chained to another person for three days get kind of uncomfortable? There's no reason to treat your lover like the people of Walmart treat their kids, or how everyone treats their dog — unless you’re into that sort of thing.
Best: Synchronized Schemes
It’s lame when you get too matchy-matchy. But we’ve got nothing except respect for folks who plot a flawlessly coordinated fashion plan for their crew and pulling out all the stops to bring it together. That just screams: “We are a group you want to party with!”
Good god, people! Have you not had enough?!
Best: Making Your Own Rave Costume
Remember those sexy space kittens? This woman just crapped all over that duo’s steez. She made this devil costume herself with nothing but free time, a creative eye, and basic materials. If you’re gonna go full rave babe, put a little time and effort. Take pride in being DIY, party people.
Worst: Basic Bitches Bitching About Being Basic
According to this woman, in order to not be basic at Ultra, you’ve got to wear something crazy. Looks like she needs to go back to the drawing board. And definitely the wardrobe too.